


I Call Your Name

by nerdcredred, Ocelot_l



Series: Lifetimes [46]
Category: Atop the Fourth Wall, That Guy with the Glasses/Channel Awesome
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Death, Dismemberment, Heavy Angst, M/M, Multi, Suicidal Thoughts, graphic blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 03:29:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 31,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6937873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdcredred/pseuds/nerdcredred, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ocelot_l/pseuds/Ocelot_l
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phelous promised him that he'd never do this again. When the unthinkable happens, Cinema Snob seeks solace with his best friend, whether he's willing to admit it or not. As he struggles to understand what's happening, memories begin to flood his mind - and they may hurt Snob more than help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Lifetimes can also be found on my Dreamwidth at http://nerdcredred.dreamwidth.org/.
> 
> Written for the Secret Treehouse 2016 Channel Awesome Big Bang. Bonus content for the fic can be found at my Dreamwidth account.
> 
> NOTE FROM THE AUTHORS: This story had already been completed by the time the details about Brad Jones' personal life and past came to light. We mean no disrespect with this story and we do not mean to compare the character to the man himself in any way. We send our love and best wishes to Brad and hope that anyone who is experiencing depression or suicidal thoughts will be able to find support and help. 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: We do not own the characters, the shows, or the people who portray the characters. These stories are meant as a work of fiction and are fair use. Please support the creators by watching their videos, letting the ads play, buying their DVDs and merchandise, and/or contributing to their Patreon(s). "I Call Your Name" is performed by The Mamas and The Papas.

Cinema Snob picked up the remote, flicked off the latest film he'd been suffering through for his next review, and unleashed a groan of such agony that anyone who'd heard it couldn't be blamed for assuming that he was in the middle of being tortured – and based on the contents of this latest cinematic experience, that wasn't sounding like such an unpleasant alternative.

"Fucking hell," he murmured, sliding two fingers up under his glasses to pinch at the bridge of his nose. "I think I'm getting a God-damned migraine from all this day-for-night bullshit." He dropped a hand to the carpeted floor and groped around for his soda bottle, sighing in disgust when a quick shake of it proved it to be empty. "Phelous, bring me another Crystal Pepsi!" he shouted as he tossed the bottle back onto the ground. 

Beside him, Lloyd stirred from his nap to stretch out his surprisingly long body, yawn, and blink at Snob in a dull manner before he curled back up for another round in dreamland. Snob spared a few minutes to stroke his soft back, a smile creeping into place as he felt a sense of peace wash over him, before he realized his throat was still dry and his living room was still sans boyfriend. 

"Phelous? Phel, where the hell are you?" Another solid five minutes of screaming finally produced the taller man, who padded down the stairs in a white t-shirt and a pair of Garfield pajama bottoms. Judging from the tufts of hair sticking up at the back of his head and the way he kept rubbing at his eyes, Lloyd wasn't the only one who'd decided to sleep the day away, but instead of feeling bad for waking his boyfriend, Snob merely rolled his eyes at him. "You do realize it's almost one in the afternoon, right?" 

Phelous nodded, not at all perturbed by Snob's irritated tone. "Yeah, I know. I was up late filming a new Bootleg Zone. Someone tried to knock off some Justice League figures by calling them-get this-'The Fairness Legion', so I of course had to get Bat Hero into a skit with them, and then Steffi just demanded air time as well, so that just ate up the whole night." 

Snob stared at Phelous, unamused. "I can't believe I'm fucking a man who spends all his free time playing with children's toys." 

"Would you prefer I spend my time watching porn instead?" Phelous replied with a smirk as his gaze fell upon the DVD case resting on the arm of Snob's chair. "It must be easy if you can manage it day after day." 

"Hey, this is a lot more difficult than it looks!" Snob snapped. "Do you know how many times this movie gave me an erection and then killed that erection? Five, thank you very much, and each death was more painful than the last!" Phelous snorted out a laugh which only made Snob feel more irritated. "It's not funny! I am suffering from not only a migraine but a serious case of blue balls thanks to this piece of shit!" 

"Well, I can certainly help you with one of those," Phelous offered, wiggling his eyebrows in a seductive manner. 

Snob scoffed and again picked up his empty soda bottle. "You can help me by getting me a drink and then by getting up off your ass and cleaning the damn house. The laundry isn't done, the litter box needs to be changed, and you still haven't taken the fucking Christmas lights down yet." 

"It's January," Phelous said, a touch incredulously. "I still have a whole month to get the lights." 

"No you don't. I'm sick of people thinking I'm full of holiday cheer. Take them down now before people start thinking we're the friendly type of neighbors you can ask to come over or to borrow our shit." Snob shuddered at the very thought of having to interact with his neighbors, which only seemed to amuse Phelous. After bringing Snob his requested beverage, he pecked him on the cheek, earning another eye roll for his efforts. 

"Don't worry, I'll make sure everyone knows that I'm the one who insisted on brightening this place up and that you're the same grumpy old pain in the ass as always." 

"Good."

"I guess I'll go ahead and tackle the lights, since I'd rather deal with this weather than the litter box right after waking up." 

Lloyd slid one eyelid open and stared moodily at Phelous, as though he knew he were being talked about. 

"Hey, I handled it last week, and whatever's in there is nowhere near as bad as the shit I see onscreen every day." 

"Whatever you say, Snob." On his way out, Phelous paused to scratch Lloyd behind the ears. "I think he just goes easy on you since he likes you cats best." 

Snob said nothing but joined Phelous in petting the cat, which caused him to yawn and close his eyes again. Phelous couldn't help giving a little smile as Tiniqua decided to hop onto Snob's lap for a round of petting as well, before he headed upstairs to shower and change. He came back down sometime later in a coat, scarf, and gloves, as it was still rather cold outside, and turned to Snob once again. 

"Do you need another bottle of Crystal Pepsi? It's been a whole fifteen minutes?" he asked sardonically, but Snob merely waved his hand at him in dismissal, his gaze fixated on the screen. 

"Shut up! I can barely hear what the actors are trying to say thanks to the shitty sound editing on this movie. Fuck, I don't even know if they're speaking English. Maybe I'll just put in fake subtitles again."

"Oh yeah, that went over so well before," Phelous snarked as he headed out the door. 

"I happen to like it when my fans bitch at me!" Snob shouted out after him. It of course wasn't true, but Snob was the type who continued to do things when people told him not to, and do them well. As he continued to feel bamboozled by the dialogue, Snob grew more and more determined to include fake subtitles into his review. He was in the middle of jotting down a good bit about a mime fornicating with a moose when a screamed curse word from outside drew his attention. 

Snob set down his notebook and moved to peer out the window, squinting into the bright sunlight as he tried to figure out who or what had made such a ruckus. When his vision cleared, a flash of red near the bushes at the front of the house caught Snob's attention, but their snow-covered branches impeded his vision so he was left unable to determine what exactly was on the ground. His curiosity getting the best of him, and his desire to leave this terrible movie behind for even a little while, spurred Snob into setting Tiniqua onto the floor before he stood and walked out the front door.

Not having bothered to put on shoes or a coat, Snob at first stood on the brown Unwelcome mat settled just outside the front that Phelous had gotten for him several Christmases ago as he peered out into the yard. He shivered immediately and shoved his hands into his pockets, scowling up at the grey sky which had just started spilling out snowflakes. "Phelous? Did you hear that scream? Where the hell are you?" Snob stood up on his tiptoes and craned his head up as he struggled to see over the porch railing and shrubbery before at last that flash of red became recognizable as the end of a scarf flapping helplessly in the breeze. Beside the abandoned piece of cloth laid a long, lean form that Snob quickly identified as a person. 

No, not a person. Phelous. 

Snob's eyes widened and his entire body froze. Even his mind, which was always ready to produce an obscure movie fact or a witty retort to a troll's comment, went blank for some time. Then it began to flash with images of Phelous doing his horror reviews and dying in increasingly ludicrous ways before popping back up to begin editing. This brought the life back into Snob's eyes and a very twisted smile crossed his ashen face.

"H-ha ha, very funny," he croaked out, his voice for some reason difficult to produce. He started walking toward where Phelous lay, completely oblivious to the snow pressing against his bare feet or how his breathing was starting to grow uncomfortably ragged. "You thought-you thought you'd distract me from this shitty movie by-by pretending to f-fall off the roof. You got me good, Phel. You got me, so-so you can get up now." 

Snob stopped walking when he stood directly over Phelous, who was certainly committed to his joke. He was laying face-down in the snow and must have been holding his breath, since his chest didn't seem to be rising or falling at all. Twinkling balls of colored light dotted his snow-dusted form, the cords seemingly tangled around his arms, while the ladder he'd brought out to retrieve the lights lay on its side a few feet from his body. There was even a small red puddle blossoming out across the pure white ground beneath his head. 

"Okay, you've convinced me. I-I'm sure you're really-really hurt." Snob barked out a laugh, trying to sound light-hearted, though his words were starting to stick in his throat and his heart was racing. He nudged Phelous's back with his foot, his grin twisting into a grimace when the taller man continued to lie still. "Phelous, this isn't funny anymore." 

It had never actually been funny but Snob refused to think that this was anything other than a horrible prank. "Phelous, get up right now," Snob commanded, his voice shaking with anger and hurt and something else which he refused to identify. "Phelous! Shit! Damn it! Get up right now! If you don't get up then that's it, this is over! You hear me?" It was a lie, of course, but Snob would have said just about anything just then, anything to make Phelous lift his head and smirk up at him in that cute way he always did. 

"Phelous! Damn it! Damn it, Phelous! Get up! Fucking get up! Are you f-fucking listening? What the hell?! What... what the... hell... is wrong with you... oh God..." 

Snob fell to his knees and grabbed for Phelous, trying to turn him over but finding him heavy, much too heavy for someone who was just sleeping, he had to be sleeping, that was it, that was all, or he'd slipped, yeah he'd slipped off the ladder and knocked himself out, that was all, that was all, that was... 

"Phelous! Phelous, wake up! Phelous, please!" Finally successful in his attempt to turn Phelous onto his back, Snob stared down in horror at his blood-covered face and reached out a shaky finger, first touching lips which were blue and cold and still, and then the side of his neck, where he waited an eternity for a pulse that never came. "Shit, shit, no, no this can't be happening... this can't be fucking... damn it, Phel! Fuck! You fucking promised! You promised me you'd n-never do this again!" 

Phelous's body shook as Snob clenched it to his chest, droplets of blood and tears splattering onto the lawn like a crimson rainfall.

\-----

Snob walked through the front door of his home before hanging up his coat and kicking off his shoes. Luckily he'd made it home before the thunderstorm, so he didn't have to worry about any of his purchases getting wet. After setting his bags down in the kitchen, Snob decided to ask Phelous what he'd like for lunch. He took a few steps toward the stairs and swore as he stepped on a plastic gun that belonged on an action figure and not his clean hallway floor. He peeled the surprisingly sharp piece of plastic off the sole of his foot and rubbed the red spot it had created before growling and stomping up the rest of the stairs with as much noise as he could muster. 

"God damn it, Phelous! You've only been here for three months but I haven't gone one fucking day without stepping on your shit! Is it really that hard for you to keep your fucking toys in the one fucking room specifically designated for toys?!" 

Snob opened the door to said room, which was really more of a decent sized closet, and after finding no one else inside, tossed the gun toward a shelf in a rather half-hazard manner before slamming it shut once again. "Phelous, get your ass out here!" he shouted, trying another door as he searched for his missing boyfriend. This one led to the room which had been converted into Phelous's review room, decorated with all the familiar things he'd used to set the stage of the episodes he filmed in Canada, while the walls were covered in blue screens that were digitally replaced afterwards. 

Before they revealed to the world that they were living together, Snob and Phelous had hoped for a little privacy as they adjusted to the situation, which was why they were continuing with the ruse of Phelous still living and filming in his old house. Snob had been completely fine with converting yet another of the rooms in his house for this purpose, since what did a grump like him need with a guest room anyway, but at this point he was mad enough to let the whole world know just where Phelous was residing these days, angry fanboys be damned. 

Snob swung open the door, his eyes narrowing when they spotted Phelous's familiar torso sprawled out on the floor, before they widened as he took in the full scope of the scene. Blood and viscera poured from a gaping wound in the center of Phelous's torso, leaking into a crimson puddle on the plastic-covered floor, while three feet away Phelous's head, completely separated from its body, stared up at Snob with glassy eyes and a lolled tongue. Snob stood still in horror, silent and unmoving, unable to grasp exactly what he was looking at, before he turned and walked into his bathroom. Then he fell to his knees and started to wretch, heaving for several minutes until his stomach was entirely empty of the breakfast he'd enjoyed hours ago. 

When he was done, Snob weakly reached for the silver knob and managed to flush it, but his attempts to climb up off his knees were less successful. He began debating whether to attempt to crawl into the bedroom or simply curl up into a ball on the floor for the next few hours when the door to the bathroom suddenly flew open and Phelous, perfectly healed and in new, unstained clothes, ran over to him.

"Shit, Snob, are you okay?" he asked, quickly sitting down next to his boyfriend and placing a hand to his cheeks and forehead. 

"Ph-Phelous?" Snob asked in a scratchy voice. 

"Yeah, it's me, I'm fine," Phelous was quick to reassure him. "I'm so sorry you saw that. You came home earlier than I thought you would. Normally I'd have that all cleaned up before you came back, or I would have at least locked the door. Shit, I can't believe I was so stupid." Phelous shook his head in frustration with himself, before his eyes softened when Snob leaned forward against his chest. 

"Phelous," he repeated, a little more energy to his voice this time. 

"I'm right here," Phelous replied, gently wrapping his arms around Snob's body. "I really am sorry you had to see that. I swear that next time I'll get my death scenes over with right after you leave so you won't ever come home early to that again." 

Phelous blinked in surprise when Snob suddenly pulled away from him and fixed him with a look of confusion. "Next time? Did you say next time?" 

"Uh, yeah, the next time I do a horror review," Phelous tried to clarify. 

Snob's eyebrows knit together. "You're going to do that again? Fucking kill yourself in some horrible fucking way?" 

"Yeah," Phelous once again replied, a bit confused himself. "It's kind of my trademark, remember? I'm the guy who dies and then comes back." 

"Well stop!" Snob shouted, not even aware that he was yelling just then. Phelous winced at the harsh sound so close to his eardrums but Snob didn't notice. 

"Stop doing the one thing all my fans love and can actually agree on wanting more of in the comments of my videos?" he asked dryly. 

"It's a stupid fucking gimmick and you know it!" Snob spat, his whole body quivering with anger. "If you have to keep fucking doing it, you should just, I don't know, edit it in with special effects later! Or hire a stunt double to play you! That can't be... too expensive... or you could use magic, like Linkara does..." Snob trailed off, realizing how ridiculous he sounded, and sighed, hanging his head low. "Fuck. Okay, I know that doesn't make any sense. And I know it doesn't hurt you... so just ignore what I'm saying and-"

"I'll stop." 

Snob looked up at Phelous, confused. "What?" 

"I'll stop dying," Phelous repeated calmly. 

"But... you're the guy who dies," Snob said, feeling as if he'd slipped into an alternate universe somehow. "That's your whole gimmick. It fits in with your horror reviews and everything." 

"Then I'll stop those too," Phelous said with a shrug. "I've been getting tired of reviewing horror anyway. I've been thinking about branching out into something else, like cartoons or maybe toys. I have a lot of crappy bootleg action figures that I'd love to bash on camera." 

Snob blinked a few times, still unable to process what was happening. "You're going to change your entire reviewing style and subject matter, and stop doing your most popular gimmick, just like that, no big deal?" Phelous nodded. "How can you do that? Why would you do that?" 

"Because you haven't stopped shaking." Snob looked down at his body. Despite having calmed down a while ago, he was indeed still trembling. This time Phelous pulled him close to his chest and Snob didn't pull back. "I never want to do anything that makes you react like this ever again," Phelous murmured, burying his face into the crook of Snob's neck. 

Snob let out one final shudder before his body grew calm. "I love you, Phel." 

"Mmm."

\-----

Dan beamed as he gazed around the dining room table. "A large bowl of popcorn, a bottle of Crystal Pepsi, shared among friends, and a game of 'Don't Break the Ice'. Now this is what I call a Saturday night!" 

"That's great, Dan," Dolly replied. "Except it's 11 a.m. on a Wednesday, and we're all drinking booze instead of Pepsi." 

"God, our lives suck," Travis said with a sigh. 

"That reminds me, fill 'er up," Mrs. Crabtree said as she held her glass in Dolly's direction. 

"Ah, semantics," Dan waved away, still smiling brightly. "Anyway, ROB, I believe it's your turn." 

"Once again, Dan, I lack the capable limbs of working a tiny plastic hammer, but I thank you for including me in your game. So, Mrs. Crabtree, how're those divorce proceedings going," the robot asked, sidling up as close to the woman in question as possible. 

"We're going to marriage counseling, for your information," Travis retorted, trying to ignore how gently his wife stroked the robot's head. "Anyway, it's my turn now, so you might not want to irritate me while I have a weapon in my hand, ROB." 

"Please, Travis, isn't it bad enough that you terrify your wife with your tiny hammer?" 

Travis blushed as the women at the table started to snicker before he knocked angrily at one white plastic square, and ended up knocking them all onto the table. "Fuck!" 

"Ooh, you lost!" Dan gleefully cried as he clapped his hands together. "That means you have to share an embarrassing secret with us all!" 

"I never agreed to that rule, Dan!" 

"Aw, but when I lost I told you all about that time I got arrested at the elementary school," Dan whined. 

"And we're all a little sadder for it," Dolly snarked. 

Dan was about to start pouting when a knock on the door drew his attention. "Oh, visitors! I'll be right there!"

Dan hurried over to the door and took a minute to smooth out his jacket, straighten his hair, and put on a brilliant smile like he always did for any guest. "Well, hello there neighbor, what can I..." Dan's eyes widened as he instantly recognized who the man was; he'd know that designer suit and agitated expression anywhere. What was more surprising than Snob suddenly showing up at his doorstep, however, was the fact that he had suitcases and a cat carrier in the crook of each arm, which he set down and opened immediately after the door had opened, allowing two Siamese cats to scamper inside. 

"Go see if they've got any tuna and I'll open it for you in a minute," he instructed in a pleasant tone after opening the additional carriers he'd brought, releasing another two cats into the house in the process, before resuming his unamused look as soon as he turned back to Dan. 

"Snob? What are you doing here? Not that it matters, since I'm so very happy to see you, my friend!" Dan eagerly reached out to envelop Snob in a hug and was swiftly shoved backwards, which only resulted in Dan giggling at his modesty.

"I'm gonna be staying with you for a few days, Dan," Snob stated flatly, not bothering to answer his question as he stepped inside. 

"Of course! I would be honored to have you as my guest, Snob!" Dan exclaimed, looking positively delighted at the prospect. "I only wish you had called first! I would have cleaned up more, broken out the good china, and gotten a special dinner in your honor! I'll be sure to clean up the guest room for you and Phelous right away! By the way, where is he? Is he still parking?" Dan wondered, not noticing how Snob's eyes had narrowed darkly. 

"Are you gonna keep fucking rambling about nothing or are you gonna help me with my bags, Dan?" he snapped in irritation.

Dan blinked in surprise and put up his hands in surrender. "I'm going to help you, Snob. of course I will! I'm sorry if I've upset you. I was just curious-" 

"Well don't be!" Snob stared at him with an intensity that made Dan's stomach squirm until a loud meow from the kitchen broke his concentration. Snob began walking towards the sound, ignoring Dan's confused look. "I'm coming, Lloyd, hang on!"

"Dan, what the fuck is this!?" ROB called out angrily as Chloe started to rub her entire body against his plastic frame. "Will you get over here and tell this thing that I am not a scratching post!" 

"Aw, I think she's a cute little kitty," Mrs. Crabtree replied, reaching out to scratch the cat's head. 

"Oh, uh, I mean, yeah, who's a good four-legged, rat-vomiting creature of death?" ROB hastily replied. 

"Isn't this exciting, Dolly?" Dan popped his head back into the room while struggling to hold all of Snob's luggage in his arms. "We get the chance to play host and hostess to one of the most famous celebrities of our time!" 

"Okay first of all, that's not even remotely true," Dolly remarked. "Second of all, what the hell, Dan? Were you even going to ask if I was okay with letting a strange man live in my house before you just agreed to it?!" 

"Snob isn't strange, he's amazing!" Dan replied, so enthusiastically that several suitcases fell to the floor. "Besides, you were okay with it when Kid spent some time living with us." 

"That's different. He was a scared kid trying to hide out from some deadly fake Linkara-thing. You're talking about us opening our lives to some weird man who yells about terrible movies on the internet," Dolly argued. 

"Is he really any weirder than Dan?" Travis countered. "You seemed pretty quick to agree to let him live here." 

"I hit him with my car and was afraid of getting sued," Dolly said with a sigh. "If I'd known he didn't have any insurance or even any identification from this decade, I would have just driven off." 

"Yeah, plus back then she didn't know Dan would be more interested in a high school boy than her," Mrs. Crabtree added. 

Dolly quickly flushed and smacked her arm. "Shut up about that!" 

"Pfff, like it's some big secret," Mrs. Crabtree said with a roll of her eyes. "I say step back up to the plate and take a swing at this one. He's much better looking than all of the guys we see around here." 

"I'm right here!" Travis snapped. 

"There's no point; this one's gay too," Dolly said with a sigh. Mrs. Crabtree patted her arm in a consoling manner.

Just then, Dan was shoved aside by Snob, who was on the prowl for his cats. "There you are, Chloe," he said, smiling as he went over to stroke her back. A smile which quickly faded when he noticed the others in the room. "It's Wednesday morning. Don't any of you people have jobs?"

"If you're trying to hint that we should leave, don't bother. I'll do that on my own," Travis muttered as he got up from the table. "Besides, it's hard to have a job when your wife keeps sleeping with your co-workers."

"Or when you go to work so plastered that you mistake the fountain out front for an outdoor toilet," Mrs. Crabtree replied as she stood as well.

"You did that too!"

"But I didn't work there, so no one cared!"

"Everyone cared! We made the company newsletter! I still get mocking emails about that from my old boss!"

"Forget I asked," Snob exclaimed in distaste. 

"I'll definitely be doing that. If anyone needs me I'll be at the liquor store!" Mrs. Crabtree announced on her way out the door. 

"Yeah, say hi to that stockboy you're fucking on the side!" Travis called as he followed her out, to which Dolly started rubbing her temples. 

"How did this end up being my life?" 

"Don't know, don't care." Snob walked into the kitchen and started searching through the cabinets for tuna and a can opener. "Dan, get my bags upstairs while I feed my cats," he ordered, ignoring how Dolly scoffed and raised her hands incredulously. 

"Why does it seem like I buy groceries for everyone but me?"

"Sure thing, Snob! I just know you'll find our guest room to be most satisfactory!" 

As Dan hurried up the stairs with Snob's luggage, Dolly fixed the man with a wary stare. "So, mind if I ask just how long you plan on staying here?" 

Snob shrugged and set four plates of tuna on the floor, which were quickly besieged by hungry cats. "I don't know. I just need to get away from my place for a while." 

"Is something wrong with your place?" Dolly wondered. "Maybe a plumbing problem or a mold infestation? Something which can be cleared up in a relatively short amount of time, perchance?" 

"No, I do not live in squalor, thank you very much," Snob snapped, sounding offended.

"So you just decided to take a vacation from your house." 

"What of it?" 

"I swear to God, I don't think I can take much more of this," Dolly mumbled under her breath before saying in a more polite tone, "So, when do you think your boyfriend will be joining us?" 

Snob tensed. "Who the fuck said he would be?" 

"Oh, I just assumed..." Dolly trailed off before quickly straightening out her hair and checking her reflection in the microwave. "So, have the two of you... ended things?"

"What? No!" Snob bristled, glaring at the woman with a look that would terrify most, but only made Dolly sigh sadly.

"I knew it. Then why isn't he joining you?" 

"Because!" Snob snapped before storming off toward the stairs. "Dan, where the hell are you?!" 

"Coming!" Seconds later, Dan hurried back into the living room, his arms still loaded up with items, though this time they consisted of board games, VHS tapes, and cassettes. "I've brought some fun stuff for us to do, Snob! Please look through my collection and pick whatever tickles your fancy!" Dan dropped the assortment of 80s memorabilia on the coffee table and looked to Snob eagerly. 

"What a load of shit," Snob grunted as he plopped down onto the couch and started to sort through the pile. "No," he said as he tossed a copy of 'The Stuff' over his shoulder. "Shit, shit, oh God I can't believe you have this, shit..." Snob paused long enough to glare at Dan. "I can't look through your crap on an empty stomach. Go make me a grilled cheese with bacon, extra crispy, and a side of chips!" 

"You'll have it in two shakes of a lamb's tail!" As Dan happily entered the kitchen, making certain to pet the cats along the way, Dolly reappeared with her purse. 

"Since your houseguest is even more obnoxious then I remember, I'm going out, Dan." 

"Aw, but you're going to miss out on all the fun," Dan said as he placed Snob's sandwich into a pan on the stove. "Snob's going through all my new board games and he's definitely going to want to perform amazing actions stunts with me like 'The Fall Guy' or hang with the 'Cheers' gang! Isn't that something you want to be a part of too?" 

"Not if my life depended on it," Dolly said, heading briskly toward the front door. "Just so you know, Dan, this guy and his cats are now your responsibility, so you'd better not half-ass things this time and leave me to clean up the messes." 

"You have my word, Dolly, that Snob and his four fur-babies will receive my full attention and care," Dan guaranteed, even going so far as to salute her. 

Dolly smirked. "Good, because it looks like Lloyd's just made the first mess you'll have to clean." 

Dan grimaced. "I guess my first step better be to set up their litter boxes."

After Dan finished cleaning up the mess in the kitchen and setting up things for his furry guests, he quickly washed his hands and brought a plate of food out to the couch. 

"Here you are, Snob!" 

"Took you long enough!" Snob snapped as he snatched it from him, taking a bite of the sandwich while Dan hurried back to the kitchen to fetch him a Crystal Pepsi. 

"And here's your favorite drink to wash it down with! Just let me know if there's anything else I can get for you, my friend." Dan stood before Snob as he took a bite of his sandwich, all too willing to wait on his guest hand and foot. "So, you never did answer me before. What brought you to my humble abode? You know you're always welcome at Casa de Dan, but I honestly never dreamed you'd stop in here for a vacation." 

"Will you stop calling it that?!" Snob yelled as best he could with his mouth full. "Why does it even matter why I came over here?"

"It doesn't," Dan quickly said, wanting to pacify the all too easy to anger Snob. "I just couldn't help but be curious, since I never expected to see you stop by unannounced... with your cats... and no one else..." Snob shot Dan a death glare and Dan nervously cleared his throat. "B-but what do I know, right? This must be the most natural thing in the modern world and something a man from the 80s just can't comprehend." Snob said nothing and popped a handful of chips into his mouth. 

After an awkward moment passed, Dan turned his gaze down to his obliterated stack of games. "So, uh, did you find anything you liked?" 

"What? Oh, no it's all shit," Snob said dismissively, which caused Dan to deflate a bit.

"I'm sorry my collection didn't live up to your standards, Snob. Is there anything in particular that you'd like to do?" 

Snob shrugged. "I don't know, whatever. Just pick whatever game you like and set up the pieces." 

Dan frowned. "Are you sure? You don't sound very interested in playing." 

"I am not interested in anything that has to do with you, Dan, and yet here I am, so why don't you just take advantage of this opportunity instead of playing 20 fucking Questions with me!" 

Dan winced slightly at Snob's words before he plastered a smile onto his face and nodded. "You're right. We have such a rare opportunity to spend time together, so I should just enjoy it for what it is!" Dan quickly set to work setting up his newly acquired 'Family Ties' game while Snob shuffled around restlessly in Dan's chair, thinking it much more uncomfortable than his own. After a good ten minutes they finally set about playing the game, which was a rather complicated process, but at least focusing on the objectives of acquiring money and getting the Keaton family into one place kept both men calm and quiet. 

After much hard work and strenuous effort, Dan was on the verge of gaining the last of his necessary funds for victory when he glanced over and saw the half-eaten sandwich and most of the chips still remaining on Snob's plate. "Was there something wrong with the food?" he wondered. 

"Huh?" Snob looked up from counting his stack of bills. 

"If the chips were stale or the sandwich wasn't cooked enough, I'm very sorry," Dan apologized. 

"Oh. No, it was fine. I just didn't feel like eating it." 

"I can cook something else if you'd like," Dan offered. "I've been getting better at cooking and baking especially, so my repertoire is growing rather large." 

Snob shook his head. "I'm not hungry, Dan." 

"Are you sure? It's really no problem. Personally I tend to indulge my sweet tooth whenever I'm feeling sad or lonely, so I completely understand if you-" 

"I said I'm not hungry!" Snob snapped, throwing down his money as he jumped to his feet. "Are you even listening to me?! God, it's like you're a fucking idiot, Dan, or maybe your tiny fucking mind is so burned out from drugs that even the simplest of words sound like nonsense to you! Is that what it is, Dan?" 

"No," Dan said meekly, hanging his head in shame. "I'm really sorry, Snob. I just wanted to be sure you didn't need anything, but I won't ask again." 

For some reason this infuriated Snob even more and he clenched his hands into fists. "I can't fucking take this anymore! I'm going to my room for some peace and quiet, so you'd better not disturb me!" 

Dan nodded, not wanting to say anything that might further irritate the man, before watching sadly as Snob stormed off up the stairs.

Dan fell very silent and withdrawn for the rest of that afternoon, spending his time packing up the games and tapes, and returning them to his room, before he cleaned up the living room and the kitchen so Dolly would at least be happy about something when she returned home. After a tense dinner filled with a number of jabs from his roommate, Dan made sure the cats' litter boxes was clean and gave them some more food and water before trudging up the stairs a few hours later. 

Dan paused when he came to guest room door, hesitantly reaching out to knock before his hand recoiled. He didn't want to risk making Snob any angrier than he already was. Instead Dan walked into his room and changed into his pajamas before flopping down onto his bed, sighing, and staring up at the ceiling. 

Snob had always been known for his temper and his insults, but Dan had always known that it was a veneer he put up so that people couldn't sense his true feelings about things. What Dan masked with happiness, Snob masked with anger, and Dan had always felt a connection with the other man because of this fact. But today Snob's anger and insults had seemed genuine. Today, Snob was expressing a hatred for Dan that he'd always feared the other man harbored for him deep down, and even if it was an extremely harsh overreaction toward something, Dan had failed to lessen Snob's ire and in fact had no idea how to even attempt such a feat. 

He curled up on his side and felt a knot grow in his stomach, a knot of shame and guilt that he knew only one person could lessen. Dan reached for his cell phone and pushed a button, waiting for a few rings until a familiar voice answered. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey, Kid," Dan responded, his spirits rising slightly just at the sound of his voice. "It's me." 

"Hey, Dan!" 90s Kid said cheerfully. "What are you up to, dude?" 

"I'm alone and getting ready for bed."

With just that one sentence. 90s Kid could hear the pain and sadness contained in his voice. "Dude, are you okay? You don't sound right."

"I... no, not really," Dan admitted."

"What's wrong, Dan?" 90s Kid asked, his voice growing soft and sympathetic. "You wanna talk about it?" 

Dan sighed, curling up a bit more as he allowed himself to open up about his true feelings for the first time that day. "Snob came over today. He brought all his cats and a bunch of suitcases and said he'd be staying here for a while, but he didn't say for how long." 

"I don't understand, Dan. Wouldn't hanging with Snob-dude make you happy?" 

"That's what I thought too at first, but after he got here, I noticed he seemed... different." 

"Different how?" 

Dan sighed again. "He won't tell me why he's here, and every time I try to ask him what's going on, he just gets angry. I know he's usually angry all the time, but it's different this time. This time... it kinda feels real. He hasn't spoken to me in hours and he gets defensive whenever anyone mentions Phelous... Kid, I think something might have happened. I don't know what, but I know something's wrong." 

"Aw man, that's a total bummer," 90s Kid said, his voice about as subdued as Dan's by now. "I'm really sorry Snob-dude's hurting right now, but Dan, this is totally not your fault. I know that you couldn't have done anything to upset him, since you always try your best to make everyone you care about feel good. And besides, I think if he came over there to see you, then maybe he's just not sure how to feel right now, but he knows he still wants to be around you. Just, like, try to give him time and stuff."

Dan smiled, feeling encouraged by 90s Kid's words. "Thanks, Kid. I'm trying to give him all the time and space he needs. I just wish I had more of a clue as to what's wrong." 

"Do you think maybe he and Phelous broke up?" 90s Kid wondered. 

"I... I just can't believe that would happen," Dan said, gripping the phone tighter as that horrible thought entered his mind. "They love each other so much, almost as much as we do, and there's no way Snob would let him go." 

"So... maybe he was the one who got dumped?" 90s Kid asked gingerly. 

Even though his fiancé couldn't see it, Dan shook his head. "I can't believe that either. No one would let go of Snob once they'd been lucky enough to win him over. It just doesn't make sense." Dan sighed and curled up into an even tighter ball. "Gosh, the stress is making my stomach ache. I should take something for that." 

"Aw, dude, I don't want you stressing like this," 90s Kid replied, sounding worried. "You want me to come over and lay with you?" 

"That would be nice," Dan admitted, "but I don't know, I don't want to do anything to upset Snob. Maybe you should hold off for now." 

"Okay," 90s Kid said reluctantly. "But if you start feeling worse, call me no matter what. I know you're trying to do what's best for Snob-dude, but you have to do what's best for you first, Dan, okay?" 

"I know, and I will. I'm going to take some medicine and get to bed early, I promise," Dan reassured him. 

"Okay, that's cool. Call me tomorrow when you're both awake. I bet the two of us can cheer up Snob-dude from whatever funk he's in." 

Dan smiled. "I will certainly do that, Kid. Thanks so much for being the best future husband in the world." 

"I love you, Dan." 

"I love you too, sweetie." Feeling a bit more heartened now that 90s Kid was going to assist him tomorrow, Dan swallowed a spoonful of medicine before he drifted off to sleep.

\-----

Snob yawned; feeling rather tired, but not at all inclined to head to bed, since he was much too cozy in his current position. He and Phelous were cuddled together on the couch watching whatever terrible horror movie Phelous had next on his schedule to review. It wasn't as bad as the movies Snob usually viewed for his job, but it still sucked pretty hard, so the two had made it a more entertaining experience by snarking the ever-loving hell out of it. This of course meant they had talked over parts of the movie and ended up needing to rewind so that Phelous could get a proper perspective of what he would be mocking once he started writing his script. The whole process ended up taking almost three hours, but Snob didn't mind at all, since he would have been content to stay curled in Phelous's arms for three weeks if he were honest. 

Unfortunately his boyfriend did not share his mindset, since before Snob even realized it, he had been gently set to the side of the couch while Phelous stood up and stretched. 

"Mmm, God that took forever," he murmured, rolling his neck to try and loosen it a bit. "And yet I'll still probably end up having to watch it again, since you made me laugh so much that I missed the big reveal." 

"Anyone with half a brain could have seen that coming," Snob replied, secretly pleased that he'd amused Phelous so much. "Why don't we watch another? It doesn't have to be a shitty movie this time, since I have a very sophisticated collection of high-brow horror flicks." 

Phelous smirked at Snob, getting his hopes up a little, before shaking his head. "Sorry, Snob, but my taxi's coming at six sharp, so unless you want me sleeping through my alarm, I'd better get to bed." 

Snob set his lips into a thin line and crossed his arms. "Maybe I do," he muttered. 

Phelous paused with his arms out over his head and peered at Snob curiously. "What was that?" 

"Nothing," he remarked, turning his head away from the other man. 

"No, that was something." 

"No it wasn't." 

"Snob-" 

"Just drop it." 

"Snob..." 

"I said drop it!" 

"..." 

Snob could feel the weight of Phelous's stare bearing down on him and he quickly cracked. 

"Okay fine, I said maybe I do want you to miss that alarm! Maybe I want you to avoid that fucking airport with those fucking smarmy security guards who can't wait to get their filthy hands on you and those fucking winged metal tubes of death, which can seriously go fuck themselves in the ass so hard! Maybe I want you to stay up late and watch horror movies with me until we can barely keep our eyes open and the damn morning birds are singing their fucking happy songs before we drag ourselves upstairs to my room and sleep until three in the afternoon! Is that what you wanted to hear?" 

Panting and red-cheeked, Snob glared up at Phelous, daring him to answer. Phelous met his gaze evenly. He wasn't one to give up on a dare lightly. 

"So, if I did all of that, Snob, when exactly would I go home?" 

"I don't... I... you..." Snob paused, temporarily stumped with this sudden question. "Oh, you should just... just stay here, okay? It'd be so much fucking easier if we didn't have to keep packing and unpacking, and we wouldn't have to leave our cats all the time, and we could save money on airfare and... and..." Snob stopped when he realized Phelous was staring at him with completely widened eyes. He went very red and quickly rolled onto his side. "Forget it! Forget I said any of that!" 

"Snob, you... did you just ask me to-" 

"No! Shut up! I didn't say anything! I'm drunk! And tired because you made me stay up to watch this shitty movie with you!" Snob curled into a ball, wishing he could become one with the sofa, before he felt a weight near his feet. Soon strong arms were encircling him, pulling him toward a chest he couldn't help but lean against. "It's just... whenever you leave, the house feels so... lonely," he murmured into Phelous's shirt, unable to meet his eyes. "It doesn't feel right anymore, for me or the cats... they really fucking miss you when you're gone." 

"I miss you too." 

Snob glanced up and found Phelous smiling down at him gently. "If you want to make this our home, then I'll call the first moving company I can find." 

Snob's breath caught in his throat. "Just like that?" he asked in quiet disbelief. "It's just that easy?" 

"Well, you don't really make anything easy," Phelous teased. "But that's part of why I love you so much." Snob bit down on his lip and silently wrapped his arms around Phelous's neck. They could live in any house, apartment, or condo in the world; as long as Snob was in those arms, he was home.

\-----

Dan actually managed to sleep soundly under his warm covers for about an hour before his mind registered the creak of a door opening, though he was still much too enveloped in slumber to pay it any mind. A soft tread on the carpet approached his bed, and then a deep, clear voice rang out, causing the sleep to fade and Dan's eyes to open. 

"Dan." 

Dan rolled over and sat up, staring in disbelief when he saw Snob standing before his bed. He almost wasn't sure if he was dreaming or awake. "S-Snob?" Dan rubbed his eyes and reached for his glasses. He blinked again when he saw the new look on his friend's face. His eyes were wide and his hands were gripping the bottom of his black silk nightshirt. Loss, sadness, and bewilderment were evident in his features, and Dan's chest tightened just at the sight of such a look. He had never seen on his best friend ever look so helpless. "Are you okay?" he asked tentatively.

"No." Snob's voice was so soft that Dan had to strain his ears just to hear it. "I'm not... okay, Dan." 

"What's wrong?" Even though he didn't want to pry, Dan had to know what had happened. 

Snob swallowed thickly, his throat quivering in the dim ray of moonlight creeping in through Dan's window. "I can't... sleep alone." Normally such an admission would have been humiliating, but right now Snob seemed almost desperate to reveal it. "I haven't slept alone in years and I... I can't do it anymore. I can't stand the feeling of reaching out for someone and coming up empty... I hate feeling empty, Dan. It's like I'm the only person alive in the world."

Snob closed his eyes as he started to drift off into a memory of long ago. "When I was young, my parents split up. I understood why they did it and I didn't blame them for wanting to leave each other, but after it happened my mom worked all the time and my dad was barely around. I was just a kid and sometimes I would have these fucked up dreams and I'd wake up crying out for them to come for me, but no one ever did. I used to play movies whenever my mom was working so that I wouldn't feel like I was the only person in the house. It didn't matter what the plot was or who the characters were or even what the rating was... as long as the TV was on, I didn't feel so alone." 

A small, sad smile crossed Snob's lips before he opened his eyes. He looked to be on the verge of tears and Dan reached out for him without even thinking. He slid Snob's icy hands into his own and rubbed them in a consoling manner. 

"But that trick doesn't work for me anymore. I keep turning on movies but the silence... the bad dreams... the darkness of the house... it all feels like it's choking me." Snob shuddered and Dan squeezed his hands gently, wishing he had words of comfort for Snob but knowing he would only fall short. "I know you know what I mean," Snob continued, his haunted eyes boring into Dan's."You've known those feelings too, Dan; that emptiness, that loneliness..." 

Dan struggled to take in a breath before slowly nodding. "I know, Snob." For far too many nights Dan had found himself curled up tightly and clinging to a pillow that he wished were another person, craving the gentle touch and security found in the arms of someone who cared about him. 

"It's all too much," Snob murmured, his hands starting to shake despite Dan's best efforts to hold them still. "The bed, the house, everything's so dark and empty..." 

"I'm sorry I couldn't make things brighter for you here," Dan apologized. "If it would help, I can trade bedrooms with you." 

"Not here..." Snob's eyes slid shut and his voice grew even quieter somehow. "Back home... my home... it used to be ours, but now it's... I can't go back there alone, Dan. Please don't make me go back there..." 

"Snob..." Dan braced himself before finally asking the question he'd been fearing all day, "where's Phelous?" 

The dam broke and the tears flowed down his cheeks. "He died, Dan. He died four days ago. I took him inside because I didn't want... I didn't want him to be all alone out there, but... but then he disappeared and he hasn't... he hasn't come back..." The last bit of willpower Snob had been struggling to maintain evaporated with these words and the man crumpled. He would have hit the floor if Dan hadn't caught him and hugged him tightly, allowing him to sob into his shoulder.

Dan's blood turned to ice water as he realized why Snob had been so agitated, so lost, so heartbroken. He was right in assuming that Snob and Phelous hadn't broken up, he knew there was no way that could have happened, but seeing how utterly shattered Snob was as he broke down in tears was almost a worse scenario. 

"He hasn't come back yet?" Dan whispered, his own eyes filling with tears of shock and sympathy for his friend. "Oh God, Snob, I'm... I'm so sorry..." 

"H-He was supposed to b-be b-back by now!" Snob sobbed brokenly, gripping Dan in a hold that almost hurt. "He p-promised h-he'd never d-do this again! It-it was an-an accident, but... it's usually r-right away...f-four days... he hasn't c-come back..." 

Dan rubbed Snob's back as he sniffled and tried to think of how to comfort the man. He was worried that he'd do a terrible job of assuaging his fears, but he still willed himself to calm down enough to make his words sound steady. "I'm sure... I'm sure that Phelous is going to come back. He always has before. I don't know where he is, or what he's doing, but I'm sure he's trying to make his way back to you. I've seen how much he loves you, Snob. I know he'd never abandon you, and... and for what it's worth, I'm not going to abandon you either. I'm so sorry about letting you down earlier, but I promise I'll be better next time. I promise I'll be here for you, Snob, so you won't have to be alone again."

Snob didn't seem capable of forming words anymore but he clung more tightly to Dan, showing how much he appreciated his concern. He had been trying to deal with the loss of Phelous on his own for long enough; it was a relief to have someone know what was really going on. Dan continued to stroke Snob's back until his sobbing quieted and his trembling lessened a little. 

"Okay, Snob," he murmured softly, "I think it would be best if you tried to get some sleep. You look exhausted so I'm going to help you back into the guestroom-" 

"No." Snob wrapped his fingers around Dan's wrist, gripping tight enough to hurt. He coughed rather raggedly as he struggled to verbalize his thoughts. "I can't... don't make me go... not alone, please..." 

"Alright, Snob, alright." Dan didn't want to upset him again but he was pressed to think of a solution to their dilemma. "If you can't stay in the guest room then stay in here. I won't leave the room for a moment, I promise," he reassured before Snob could protest. His strength sapped, all Snob could manage was a weak half nod, but this was all the confirmation Dan needed. He very gently guided the other man over to his bed and helped him lie down, tucking the covers around his body like a concerned parent would do for a sick child. 

"Is that better?" Dan whispered, massaging his fingers along the top of Snob's scalp in a soothing manner. Snob groaned, his eyes sliding closed. "That's it. You just relax, Snob, and I'll sit right here until you fall asleep. I'll be right here, close enough to touch, so you don't have to feel alone for a second." As Dan reached behind him for the old, wooden chair he'd found in Dolly's garage a few years ago, he felt a gentle tugging on the sleeve of his pajamas. He glanced back at Snob in concern, and found himself gazing into a set of pitiful eyes. 

"I told you, I can't sleep alone. I just can't drift off anymore if there isn't a warm body beside me... so can you... would you..." 

Dan's eyebrows arched slightly before he nodded at the unasked question. "Of course. I would never let you feel lonely."

Dan carefully laid down beside Snob, trying to make sure there was at least a little space between them so that the other man wouldn't feel uncomfortable, but Snob quickly surprised him once more by wrapping his arms around Dan's waist and pulling his body tightly against his. Dan exhaled sharply, paralyzed with fear for a moment as he realized what was happening. A very vulnerable Snob was clinging to him in his bed, desperate for touch, reassurance, friendship. At any other point in time, Dan would have been dreaming about this kind of scenario, but now things had changed. Dan would never overstep his bounds with Snob in such a state, but what would 90s Kid think if he found out about this? Would he understand and approve of this kind of comfort as long as it was within the confines of friendship? 

A soft whimper from Snob broke Dan out of his thoughts, and he swiftly wrapped his arms around the man and hugged back. "I'm here, Snob. Just like I promised," he murmured, his voice warm and comforting. "Try to rest, okay? I'm not going anywhere." Snob nuzzled his head against Dan's shoulder and closed his eyes, trying to take a deep breath as he focused on the warmth of another person next to him. Dan closed his eyes and tried to relax as well. Snob's well-being and comfort were the most important things right now. He'd face reality and 90s Kid tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Dan sat awkwardly on the couch beside his fiancé. 90s Kid had one arm draped around his shoulder and normally the two would have been much closer together, but Dan had insisted on keeping a little space between them as he began his tale of what had transpired the previous night. 

"When he finally told me what was wrong, it broke my heart, Kid," Dan explained, unconsciously tapping his fingers together as he spoke. "He thinks he's lost the love of his life forever and it's completely destroyed him. I never thought I'd see Snob so miserable... I never wanted to." 

90s Kid's fingers curled around Dan's shoulder, squeezing gently. "I can't believe Phelous-dude is gone. I mean, yeah, he's died before, but never for this long. Do you really think he's-" 

"No," Dan interrupted with a shake of his head. "I refuse to think he's gone forever. Unfortunately, Snob isn't so optimistic. I've never seen him hurt like that before... I've never seen him cry..." Dan paused as a whimper slipped out and he quickly rubbed his fingers against his eyes. 90s Kid couldn't resist moving closer this time to embrace Dan tenderly. 

"It's okay, Dan. We're gonna figure out a way to make everything alright." 

Dan smiled, somehow able to believe this was possible when 90s Kid said it. "Thank you, sweetie," he softly answered, pressing his lips to 90s Kid's cheek. "You always know just what to say and do to make me feel better. I love being able to turn to you with anything that's bothering me." 

90s Kid smiled. "I love that you can do that too, Dan." 

"That's why I need to tell you one last thing." Dan sighed and tried to settle the nervous butterflies in his stomach. "After he told me all this, Snob said he couldn't bear to be alone any longer. He's so lost right now, thinking the person he loves most is gone... it's a feeling I've felt before too," Dan admitted. 90s Kid tightened his grip around him but Dan kept talking. "So that's why, when he asked me if I would stay with him all night, right by his side, I said yes." Dan slowly reached up and pulled down 90s Kid's sunglasses so he could look directly into his eyes. "I slept in the same bed with him and I want you to know, Kid. We didn't do anything other than hug each other for warmth and support, but I know I still should have asked you first if you were alright with it." Dan paused for a moment. "Are you alright with it?" 

90s Kid's clear blue eyes stared sharply back into Dan's while his warm smile faded into something indiscernible. "You and Snob... were in bed together? All night?" 

"Yes, but we really did nothing else but hug and sleep," Dan reaffirmed, chewing on his bottom lip nervously. 

90s Kid's brows knit together and he was silent for a moment. "I know you wouldn't lie to me and that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me, so I believe you," he said at last. Dan sighed with relief, the butterflies in his stomach starting to vanish, until 90s Kid pulled him into a surprisingly tight hug that he didn't seem interested in ending anytime soon. 

Dan gasped at the sudden pressure before glancing up into the teen's uncharacteristically solemn face. "Kid... I get the feeling you're not okay with what happened." 

"I'm okay," 90s Kid calmly countered, although his grip around the smaller man tightened. "Everything is totally rad." 

"I... I'm finding that a bit hard to swallow," Dan rasped, since he himself was finding it hard to swallow at the moment. 90s Kid was not usually this clingy with him, but it seemed the events of the previous evening had triggered his possessive side. "I'm really sorry... for upsetting you, Kid. I... never want to do that... can you please forgive me?" 

"I forgive you," 90s Kid said at once. "I'm not mad at you Dan." 

His grip tightened further and Dan coughed. "O-okay... but maybe you're... mad at... at... at the whole situation?" he managed to ask after a few attempts. 

"Mmm." 

This was the closest to a confirmation it seemed Dan would get, so he mustered up the last remnants of strength he had to smile at 90s Kid. "I feel... so lucky... to have someone who... is this worried and protective... of me... so know that... I really love you, Kid... and don't blame yourself... when I pass... out... wooo boy..." 

"Huh? Oh!" 90s Kid finally released his hold on the older man and patted his back while he coughed a few more times. "I-I'm really sorry, dude! I didn't realize I was squeezing so hard!" 

"It's okay..." Dan said, his smile looking better now that he could breathe properly. "I accidentally hurt you and then you accidentally hurt me, so we're even now, right?" 

90s Kid sighed and shoved his sunglasses back into place. "I just hate how everything is a major bummer right now. Phelous-dude is missing or dead or some other thing that's probably bad, Snob-dude is a wreck, and you're caught in the middle of it. I mean, I get that you wanna help Snob, cuz I wanna help him too, but what if he asks to... you know... do it again tonight?" 

90s Kid shot Dan a vulnerable look that made Dan's heart clench. "I don't want to see Snob hurt, but I never want to hurt you either, Kid. So if he asks again-" 

Before Dan could finish, a noise drew both of their attention. They turned and found Snob, still in his night clothes and hugging Chloe to his chest. "Dan, you're here," he said in a tone that wasn't at all similar to his normal bluster. "I woke up and you were gone..."

"I'm sorry, Snob, but I'm here now," Dan reassured with a comforting smile. "I just got up to make you breakfast and to show you that 90s Kid is here! He wanted to come over and cheer up his very best buddy, so come on over and say hi!"

Snob turned his gaze to 90s Kid and nodded toward him almost shyly, slowly beginning to approach the couch. "Hey, 90s Kid. I heard that you were out of the hospital. So everything's fine now?" 

90s Kid was rather taken aback. In spite of his momentary suspicion and slight jealousy over Snob, he was struck by how quiet and almost timid the man sounded. He had never heard him like that before, nor had he heard him speak such kind words to him, or to anyone honestly. He nodded rapidly and showed Snob a smile, though his arm made its way around Dan's waist and pulled him closer at the same time. "Yeah, dude, I'm totally good now. The doctor even cleared me to be able to start doing stuff with the team again a few weeks ago, so I can totally start making up for all the awesome stuff I've missed out on!" 

"Oh, good." Snob deposited Chloe into Dan's lap and pulled 90s Kid into a tight, squeezing hug, which also caused 90s Kid to freeze a bit in surprise.

Dan was also taken aback by Snob's sudden display of affection and knew that his mental state must have been much more fragile than he'd realized. He took a moment to smile at the adorable tableau and mentally save the image for later viewing, before he set Chloe onto the ground and gently pulled the older man away from his fiancé. "Aw, we really appreciate your concern, Snob. Kid is so lucky to have a friend like you! But right now, I have a plate of pancakes in the kitchen waiting just for you, so why don't you go have a few? Please? It would really mean a lot to me." 

Dan flashed Snob his most charming smile and Snob nodded at the suggestion without putting up a fight. "Okay." He turned and padded toward the doorframe before glancing back at them with slight alarm. "You're eating too?" 

"Of course, I'll be right there," Dan assured him. "Nothing could keep me away from a plate of pancakes, my friend!" Snob let out a sound that was a cross between a snort and a grunt before he slowly made his way out of the room.

Once he'd gone, Dan looked to 90s Kid. "Do you see what I mean? Snob is in a really bad place. I never thought I'd see the day when he would willingly hug either of us." 

"I get it, dude." 90s Kid rubbed at his arms, as if still able to feel Snob's hug. "If I thought I'd lost you, I'd be a total basket case." Dan smiled and craned his head up so he could peck the teen's cheek. 

"So, will you help me keep him company for a little while? I know this is going to eat into our free time, but I feel so bad leaving him alone. He really hates that, and I... well, I can relate to that, Kid." 

90s Kid pulled Dan close, gently this time, and Dan curled against his body, sighing at how perfectly he fit. "I know, Dan. I don't want to leave him alone either, so this is totally cool with me. It'll probably be fun spending a day together just playing games and watching junk on TV." 

Dan smiled and kissed 90s Kid more tenderly on the lips. "I can't thank you enough, sweetie. I'll make it up to you later, I promise. For now though, I'd better go and check on Snob. In this state, I don't even trust him to pour the maple syrup himself," he admitted in a low tone. 

"Yeah, you'd better go." Dan stood up, only slightly reluctant to have to leave 90s Kid's side, a moment before Lloyd decided to take up residence in the younger man's lap. Dan couldn't help giggling as the cat started purring almost instantly. "Gee, sweetie, it looks like everyone wants to snuggle with you today. I might get jealous soon." 

"Shut up," 90s Kid mumbled, blushing furiously as he reached a hand out to stroke Lloyd's head.

The rest of the day passed without incident, though Snob never lost his shy, quiet, almost gloomy demeanor. It wasn't for lack of trying on Dan and 90s Kid's part, since they did everything they could think of to boost the man's spirits. Snob curled up between the two of them on the couch for most of that afternoon, watching the bad movies they had put on for him to snark, hoping that his usual brand of biting humor would cause him to laugh or react in some way, but he seemed barely engaged with the films at all. He merely sat there wrapped in a blanket, the cats lounging on him peacefully until they meowed for food or water. 90s Kid and Dan couldn't help feeling more and more worried as time went on. 

"Dude, I don't know if this is helping," 90s Kid whispered to Dan as he got out more food for the cats. "He's barely said anything for, like, hours."

"It is rather disconcerting to see the usually loquacious Snob this quiet," Dan admitted as preheated the oven for that evening's dinner. "But I really think he appreciates having us by his side, Kid. His eyes even seemed to fill with life for a second when you tucked that blanket around his legs, remember?" 

"Yeah." 90s Kid didn't seem cheered by this information, however, and after watching Dan fiddle with tray of chicken he started to walk out of the kitchen. "I'm gonna check on him, dude. Be right back." 

Instead of heading back into the living room, though, 90s Kid quietly made his way up the stairs and into Dan's bedroom. He gently nudged the door shut before sliding his phone from his pocket and dialing Linkara's number. "It's me," he said after the man in question answered. "Do you have any news?" 

"I'm sorry, 90s Kid, but I've done all the scans I possibly can and there's no sign of Phelous anywhere," Linkara replied, sounding more disheartened than was usual for the comic lover. "He's not on Earth, he's not in space, he's not even in this galaxy. I can't really believe it myself, but it seems like he's gone for good." Linkara sighed and 90s Kid felt even worse. Linkara had actually been friends with Phelous, so the loss of course was affecting him too. 

"I'm totally sorry, dude," he said in a soft voice. "Maybe I shouldn't have even told you about this in the first place." 

"No, it's alright, 90s Kid. I feel better knowing because at least now I can try to do something. Although I doubt my scope of magical knowledge includes whatever it is that causes Phelous to constantly reincarnate... or should I say caused." 

Another sigh left 90s Kid feeling worse than before. "I'm really totally sorry, dude. I know I keep saying that but-" 

"It's alright, 90s Kid. I'll be fine. Right now it's Snob you should be worried about. I'm really grateful that you and Dan are keeping him company. He's not the easiest person to get along with but in spite of the insults and snark, he's still my friend." 

90s Kid smiled as he heard the fondness in Linkara's voice and he nodded along, even though the other man couldn't see him. "Yeah, he's a cool dude." 

"Look, if it ever gets to be too much for you, just give me a call and I'll be right over." 

"I will, man. Thanks again for trying." 90s Kid hung up the phone and shoved it back into his jeans pocket sadly. If even the man he admired and looked up to most couldn't solve this, then maybe Phelous really was gone for good. Unwilling to think about how their lives would change if this fact really were a certainty, 90s Kid turned to exit Dan's bedroom, before freezing when he realized his fiancé was leaning against the doorframe.

"Dan!" 90s Kid blurted out, his face going red as he began to stammer nervously. "That was-I was just-uh-I-" 

"Sweetie, relax, I'm not upset," Dan said hastily, going over to 90s Kid and taking his hands to calm him down. "I just came to tell you that dinner was almost ready. I didn't mean to overhear. Was that Linkara?" 

90s Kid nodded, no longer panicking but still feeling guilty. "Yeah. I wanted to see if he could help find Phelous, but there's, like, no sign of him anywhere," 90s Kid murmured, keeping his voice low just in case Snob was eavesdropping on them too. "I totally don't want to believe that Phelous is gone, but... it's not looking good, man." 

Dan sighed and closed his eyes, as though needing to take a moment to gather his strength, before he squeezed 90s Kid's hands and opened them again. "I still refuse to believe that. Phelous has always found his way back to Snob before. I know he'll do it this time." 

90s Kid couldn't help smiling a little at Dan's refusal to give up. "I know, dude. I know it's helping Snob a lot to have someone who thinks that too."

"Yeah." Dan wasn't entirely sure he believed that, but it felt so good hearing it that he allowed himself to believe the words regardless of the day's results. He embraced 90s Kid for a little longer before pulling back. "Those pork chops should be cool enough to eat now, so let's get down there. I just hope Snob takes more than a few bites this time." 

"If he doesn't start eating again, maybe we should..." 90s Kid hesitated before finally forcing himself to continue. "Maybe we should look into getting him some real help, Dan. I know he wants to keep stuff private right now and it's so much easier for him to stay here where you'll look out for him, but you can't be his guardian forever, right?" 

"I can't do that, Kid," Dan said, looking panicked just by the thought. "He's trusting me right now. I can't betray him by telling someone else about this. I already feel guilty enough for telling you without his permission, but if I tell anyone else he might really start to hate me!" 

"He could never hate you, Dan," 90s Kid insisted as he pulled Dan into a calming hug. "Don't even think like that." 

Dan smiled grimly. He knew the truth. The only person who could truly never hate him was the one hugging him right then; but that was alright. Dan had accepted that truth a long time ago. 

"Dan? Dan!" 

Dan pulled back at the concerned shout of his name and quickly ran out into the hallway to peer down the stairs. "I'm right here, Snob! Sorry we're keeping you waiting, buddy. 90s Kid and I will be right down to join you for dinner!" 

"You'll be here?" Snob repeated, a glimmer of fear in his eyes that Dan utterly detested. 

"We'll be right there with you, so I hope you're hungry for some delicious chicken!" 

"Cacciatore?"

Dan looked surprised by the sudden spark of life in Snob's eyes and felt a bit guilty when he started shaking his head. "Uh, no, it's actually cooked in a creamy cilantro lime sauce, but it's going to be delicious, I promise you!"

"Oh." The light in Snob's eyes dimmed as he nodded and slowly lumbered his way toward the kitchen. Not wanting to leave him alone for long, Dan went to retrieve 90s Kid and tried not to think about what Snob would do if he knew what the two had been talking about minutes ago.

\----------

Phelous shrugged off his coat and hung it up in the closet before the scent of something delicious lured him directly into the kitchen. He grinned when he saw Snob standing at the stove stirring a pot of pungent red sauce, a frilly white apron draped over his stark black suit. 

"I wish I had my camera on me to capture this precious moment," he teased, snickering when Snob suddenly went red. 

"Don't you fucking dare think about filming me like this, or you'll end up eating that camera instead of my delicious chicken cacciatore." 

"Well, my empty stomach has saved us both then." Phelous moved to the cabinet where the plates were stored, pausing only when he felt a swat on his backside. 

"No, you sit at the table and open your present," Snob commanded, smiling triumphantly when his boyfriend obeyed, as expected. 

Phelous turned his attention to a white half box covered with tissue paper. Peeling back a layer revealed a long, black cane covered in leather, with one end thickened into a handle and the other ending in a thin, flexible leather tongue. "A riding crop," he murmured as he picked up the item for closer inspection. "I didn't know you liked horses." 

Snob turned around to smirk at him. "Oh, I don't. But tonight, I will be riding something, and that will definitely come in handy." 

Phelous closed his eyes and tried to suppress the shudder those words elicited from him. Eventually giving up on his quest to not feel totally aroused, he stood back up and moved behind Snob, lightly wrapping his arms around his shoulders as he rested his chin atop the other man's head. 

"Dinner, a present, an ass-whooping... all this and it's not even my birthday." 

"Do you really think I'm waiting four months to fuck the hell out of you?" Snob playfully replied, enjoying the warmth of the taller man's touch. "Besides, I like to be unpredictable." 

"Is that why you have a closet full of exactly the same outfit?" 

"Shut your damn mouth or you won't be eating anything... before you eat me, that is." 

Phelous's soft chuckle was like music to Snob's ears. "God, Snob, I really love you." 

The music came to a screeching halt and Snob tensed immediately. Phelous wasn't even aware of what he'd done until he realized his boyfriend was standing stock-still, and then the last few moments replayed in his brain. 

"Oh, shit..." He pulled back and closed his eyes, his entire body turning bright red. 

Snob whirled around, ready to snap and demand Phelous stop playing whatever shitty game this was, before he realized how humiliated the taller man looked. Phelous did not embarrass easily, so that could only mean he hadn't been playing at all. Snob opened his mouth to speak and found his breath was completely gone, leaving him gaping like a fish pulled from its watery home. Before he found the ability to verbalize thoughts once more, Phelous let out an aggravated sigh and forced his eyes back open. 

"Look, just... just forget that happened." He was trying to keep his voice light but there was an unmistakable quaver in his words. "I didn't mean to say that yet, so let's pretend I didn't." 

Snob blinked a few times before his mind registered one word, and one word only. "Yet?"

Phelous paused before screwing up his reddened cheeks into an unhappy expression. "Yeah, yet. I was planning to say it to you eventually, Snob. Or did you think I was just flying down here to see you every other weekend because you're that good in bed?" 

Snob's lips parted and closed, but for once in his life he was speechless. Phelous stared at him, waiting to see if he was ever going to respond, before his embarrassment and frustration forced him to turn away.

"I think maybe I should go. I need to take a walk and clear my head or something. I'll see you." 

It was only when Phelous was mere inches from the front door that Snob's mind kicked back into gear and he flew across the floor, one hand wrapping insistently around Phelous's wrist. 

"Don't. Don't go," he said, trying to tug him back into the safety of the kitchen. 

Phelous refused to budge, one hand still wrapped around the knob. "Snob, please-" 

"I don't want you to go," Snob repeated, trying to keep his voice commanding. "Just come back into the kitchen." 

"Why?" 

"Because..." Snob didn't have much more of a reason than that, but when he felt Phelous start to pull away again he desperately blurted out, "Because I'll say it back to you!" 

"I didn't say it so you'd say it back to me!" Phelous yanked his arm away, his tone somewhat insulted. 

"Th-then why did you say it in the first place?!" Snob all but shouted, his mind starting to float in a sea of panic he was sure would only be worsened if Phelous walked out that door. 

Phelous, sensing this new wave of emotion, turned back around and looked Snob in the eye. "I said it because I felt it." 

"Well... well fuck!" Snob shook his head, looking as rattled as a dog in a cage. "How the fuck am I supposed to respond to that, Phelous? Now if I say that I love you back, you'll only think I did it because I was pressured into it, and if I don't say it back, you'll think I'm a fucking asshole! So what the fuck am I supposed to do now?!" 

Phelous's expression flickered and Snob fell silent, his whole body growing cold. "I am so very sorry to have burdened you with my feelings, Snob. If I knew you were going to react like this, I wouldn't have even bothered." 

Snob felt as if his whole world were spinning, everything was twisting and turning beyond his control, and he reached out a hand, searching for anything to steady him, but this time, there was no warm palm there to cover his own. Snob shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, before he shoved Phelous aside and ran to the front door, locking it. 

Phelous groaned. "Snob, move." 

"No fucking way." Snob placed his body squarely in front of the exit, refusing to budge, and glared up at Phelous without fear. "You can't leave, Phelous." 

"Damn it, Snob-" 

"You can't because I know in my fucking gut that if you do, you won't come back, and I cannot fucking risk that. So just shut up and listen to me." Phelous crossed his arms but otherwise remained silent as he stared at Snob. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do now, Phel," Snob admitted, the fear of admitting this far overshadowed by his fear of losing the other man. "I've never had a relationship like this, one that's lasted this long or where I've actually felt like I wasn't on the verge of constantly being left, so I'm sorry if I can't react like I'm supposed to, but I'm just this fucked up person who's trying his best, okay? I-I'm really trying here, Phel, and I know that if you walk out now, everything I've built with you will be fucking ruined and I-I don't think I'll be able to h-handle that..." 

Phelous's expression softened when he realized Snob was starting to tear up and he reached out toward him automatically, Snob latching onto his outstretched hands immediately.

"Please d-don't go," he huffed in between shallow breaths. "I-I'm sorry for being so f-fucked up and I'll try to do b-better, so please..." 

Phelous pulled Snob close, resting his chin atop his head as he stroked Snob's quivering back. "Calm down. I'm not going anywhere, so just calm down, Snob. It'll be okay. We'll figure this out together, so stop tying yourself into knots."

"Okay." Snob said it, even though he didn't feel it, not at all. Phelous seemed to sense this as well

"Okay then. Why don't we go back into the kitchen, eat dinner, and pretend like I never opened my big fucking mouth in the first place." Phelous tried to gently guide Snob toward the table, but Snob gripped his arms tightly and stared at him with eyes filled with uncertainty.

"You're really not going to leave? I won't wake up in the middle of the night and find your side of the bed empty?"

"Nah, if I were going to leave, it would definitely be during the day."

Phelous winced as Snob's fingers dug into his flesh. "That's not funny."

"Ow, shit. Sorry, but give me a fucking break, Snob. I have no plans to leave. I've never wanted that. All I've ever wanted is..." Phelous trailed off, his face starting to turn red again. "Forget it. Let's just go and eat, alright?"

Snob allowed Phelous to walk away this time, obediently following after him. He sat down in the chair Phelous pulled out for him, sipped from the glass of wine Phelous poured for him, and ate what he could from the meal he'd spent all afternoon preparing, which wasn't very much at all. Phelous's appetite also seemed rather weak and the two ended up storing their half-eaten dinners in Tupperware once they'd both had enough.

"I think I'll turn in early." Snob watched Phelous finish the dishes and dry his hands before he headed toward the stairs.

"You forgot something." Snob nodded his head toward the opened present, which had been moved to the counter.

"Oh, yeah." Phelous picked up the riding crop and examined it with an expression of longing. "You can use it on me another time, when I'm not so tired."

"Or you can use it on me."

Phelous blinked twice. Snob had almost whispered those words, but he'd definitely said them. "I thought you never bottomed," he said, taking a step closer to Snob without even realizing it.

Snob kept his gaze on the kitchen table. "I don't. But you... you're the exception."

Phelous couldn't believe it, not until he saw the truth in Snob's own eyes. He gently tilted the shorter man's head up and stared at him, waiting to see if the lie forced Snob to turn away. He never did, continuing to meet Phelous's gaze evenly, though his body started trembling rather fiercely. Snob was afraid, terrified even, but he was being honest.

Phelous took another step toward Snob until he was able to wrap his arms around the smaller man.'s shoulders, resting his chin atop Snob's head. 

"You always make things so fucking difficult."

"Sorry."

"It's alright. I already knew what kind of man I was falling in love with." 

 

\------------

 

Dan and 90s Kid tried to keep up a steady stream of chatter at dinner both very used to masking their negative emotions with smiles and excited words. Snob remained for the most part silent, but he did occasionally mumble a few words in response while nibbling at his food.   
After the meal was finished, they headed into the living room to join Dolly, ROB, and the Crabtrees for another terrible movie from the 80s, which Dan and 90s Kid thoroughly enjoyed, and the others thoroughly enjoyed ripping apart. Dan even scooped out sundaes for everyone, though Snob's eventually melted into a bowl of sweet soup that Phelous's cats enjoyed sneaking licks from. 

Eventually Snob's head started bobbing and Dan was quick to notice this. He jumped up from the couch and hurried over to him. "Are you ready to lay down now, Snob? It's been a long day and some rest would probably do you good." 

Snob looked up at Dan and nodded, getting up a bit shakily. "Yeah, I am tired. I'm gonna go change." 

"Don't you worry about anything here, Snob," Dan reassured him. "Kid and I will wash these dishes, so why don't you go say good night to the cats before you head up there?" Snob gave a brief nod and walked off in search of them while Dan turned to his guests. "I am here to announce that this will conclude our evening together." 

"Great! It's early enough that the best bars are still open!" Mrs. Crabtree announced cheerfully as she jumped to her feet. "Want to join me, Dolly? It's ladies night, so drinks are half-price!" 

"I guess I've got nothing better to do," Dolly sighed as she went to find her purse. 

"I guess I'd better tag along too, since you're likely to get into another fight and I've got bail money," Travis muttered. 

"Mrs. Crabtree fighting drunken ladies? I'm there!" ROB agreed. 

It was actually quite a relief when they were gone. For once, Dan enjoyed a moment of relative peace as he and 90s Kid washed the dirty sundae dishes. When they were finished, though, Dan leaned against the counter, as though his strength had suddenly left him. 

90s Kid approached him and kissed his cheek, trying to bolster his fiancé’s spirits. "I'm sorry, Dan, I know this is really hard for you. You're being totally strong for him right now, and I'm sure Snob appreciates it." 

Dan gave him a tiny smile and hugged him tightly, needing to soak in the words that he was doing something right, even if everything felt completely wrong. "Thanks, Kid. I'm really trying. I don't think I could have done it without you here, though." Dan's hands tightened on the back of 90s Kid's jacket. "Kid... can you stay here tonight? I know you're probably busy since you're back in training now, and I shouldn't be monopolizing you all the time like this, but-" 

"Of course I'll stay, Dan." 90s Kid kissed the top of his head to still his babbling. "I'm not going anywhere, dude." 

Dan breathed a sigh of relief and nuzzled against 90s Kid's chest for a few moments. "Thank you, Kid. You don't know how much I need you." 

The two headed upstairs and changed into their pajamas. After shutting off the light and climbing into bed together, Dan laid rather tensely on his mattress, waiting to see just when he'd have to break the bad news to Snob. Everything remained silent and still for such a long while that Dan almost managed to drift off to sleep, but then there was a slow creak of the door and Snob poked his head inside. 

"Dan? Are you in here?" Snob paused when he saw that Dan was curled up beside 90s Kid and fidgeted, unsure of what to do. "Oh... is he staying here tonight?" 

Dan's heart turned to lead. His body trembled and he swallowed as he saw the vulnerable look in Snob's eyes, before he thought back to his earlier conversation with 90s Kid. He couldn't bear to turn Snob away, especially not after the previous night's confession, but 90s Kid came first. 90s Kid always came first. He was most important to Dan, and even though it hurt, he had to honor his promise to the man he loved. 

"Snob... please don't take this the wrong way, but I... I can't... I think that we shouldn't-" 

"I don't mind if he stays, Dan," 90s Kid's voice broke in suddenly.

Dan turned to him in surprise. "What? Kid, are you sure? Because I can do this for you." 

"I know," 90s Kid said, squeezing Dan's hand beneath the covers. "But I don't want you to have to do that. If I'm here, I can be cool with this, so it's fine. Let's just all get some rest, okay?" 

Dan smiled at 90s Kid with as much loving energy as he could produce before he turned back to Snob. 

"Snob, Kid wants to sleep here with us too. Is that okay?" 

"As long as I'm not alone," Snob muttered, already on his way to the edge of the bed. After crawling a bit and shimmying his way under the blankets, Snob turned onto his side and curled around Dan as he had the previous evening. 

Dan glanced back to 90s Kid, still feeling slightly guilty, but 90s Kid was watching them both with quiet interest. "You okay?" he mouthed and 90s Kid nodded, squeezing his hand once more. 

"Are you?" 90s Kid mouthed back, to which Dan quickly nodded. He had much more experience being squeezed throughout the night, so he would have no problem sleeping through whatever Snob might do to him.

In no time at all Snob drifted off and Dan found himself slowly slipping away as well, although before he closed his eyes for the final time that night, he was certain he saw 90s Kid gently running his fingers across Snob's scalp. 

The next morning, Dan was the first to wake, which wasn't all that surprising to him, since he often had trouble sleeping when he was anxious about something. Not feeling Snob's grip around his body, Dan quickly rolled over before pausing to stare in disbelief. Snob was cuddled up against 90s Kid's chest, sleeping more peacefully than he had the previous night, while 90s Kid held him tighly as a smile shone upon his face. Chloe and Lloyd, who had wandered in at some point during the night, were also curled up in between the pair's legs. It was one of the most adorable sights Dan had ever witnessed and he happily gazed at the people he cared for more than anyone in the world for a good long while.

Eventually 90s Kid started to stir, slowly blinking open his eyes to peer around in early morning confusion. 

"Morning, sweetie," Dan said, smiling sunnily at the teen. 90s Kid narrowed his brows for a moment before tilting his head downwards. His cheeks instantly grew red and his body stiffened, which caused Dan to press a hand to his lips so he wouldn't start laughing out loud. 

90s Kid glared at this show of amusement. "This isn't funny, dude. I don't even know how I got here."

"Well, you seemed quite content having ended up there," Dan teased. 

"Shut up! When I get you alone, you are in mega-big trouble!" 

Dan couldn't keep from giggling then, but he quickly cursed himself as Snob started to stir. "I'm so sorry, Snob, I didn't mean to wake you!" 

"Eh, it's fine. I was tired of sleeping anyway." Snob looked up into 90s Kid's flushed face without changing expressions before he turned his attention to the still-slumbering cats. "There are my babies," he said softly as he stroked their backs. "You've been so good these last few days. Why don't I go fix breakfast for you this morning?" 

To Dan's surprise, Snob climbed out of bed and headed downstairs on his own, the cats, as if able to understand what breakfast meant, slinking around his heels. When the door to his room was closed, Dan turned to 90s Kid with a grin. 

"Wow, I think sleeping with you really did the trick, Kid. Snob looks like he's gotten back some of that lost energy!" 

90s Kid's face fell into a pout and he rolled onto his side, pulling the covers up over his head. "That's not funny, Dan."

Dan hugged the blanket lump tightly and the grin didn't leave his face. "Aww, c'mon, sweetie. You know I'm only teasing, I'm just happy to see Snob feeling better and I know a lot of that credit should go to you." 

90s Kid let out a muffled groan. "This is so totally embarrassing. I can't believe that even happened. The only reason I did that was cuz I totally thought he was you!" 

Dan blinked and looked down at the blanket lump suddenly. "What did you say, Kid?" 

90s Kid curled up under the covers tighter. "Nothing." 

Dan pulled the covers back and 90s Kid buried his face into one of the pillows, though Dan had caught a glimpse of his red cheeks. "Kid, it's okay. I'm not mad if you think Snob is, oh I don't know, cute or something," he teased, remembering 90s Kid's slip-up after his trip into space with the older man. "Actually, I'm kind of glad about that, because now we can talk about how cute he is together!" Dan laughed and felt relieved when 90s Kid's chest started rumbling as well. 

"I guess he's, like, really not so bad when he's not acting like a jerk," 90s Kid said, popping out from under the covers to pull Dan backwards with him so that they could both lay cuddled together on the bed now. "I can see why Phelous-dude likes him so much... liked him so much." 

Dan's smile faded. "What happened to being positive?" 

90s Kid sighed. "Sorry. I know I should be more like you, Dan. I just wish we had something to give us hope right now, like some kind of sign or something to let us know it's totally cool to keep believing he'll come back." 

Dan held his breath and glanced around the room, hoping a bizarre quirk of fate would intervene at that exact moment and let 90s Kid believe just as strongly as he did. However, nothing so easy could happen, and soon enough 90s Kid was reaching for his phone. 

"Let me check in with Linkara. Maybe he found something out last night." 

"Yeah, good idea." Dan pulled back and got dressed as 90s Kid spoke with Linkara, only looking back when he'd hung up. "Anything?" 

"Nope." 90s Kid sighed and reached for his sunglasses. "Do you think Snob's energy will last?" 

Dan remembered 90s Kid's suggestion about finding someone to talk with Snob and hesitated. "I truly hope so, Kid."

When Dan and 90s Kid finally made it downstairs, they were surprised to find Snob not in the dining room, but out on the back patio, sitting on one of the deck chairs and smoking a cigarette. He was staring off into the distance at nothing, and appeared to be deep in thought. 

"I guess he just needs some time to himself," Dan said softly, his sympathy running high for his friend. "This is going to take some time for him to process. I just wish I could make it easier for him." 

"We could always, you know, ask someone else about what to do," 90s Kid slowly suggested.

Dan frowned. "Kid, I know you think that's the best option we have, but I really don't want to betray Snob's trust anymore than I already have. I think if we just give it enough time, we'll be able to get him through this."

Now it was 90s Kid's turn to frown. "And how much time do you think we'll need for that to happen, Dan?"

"I'm not going to ask you to be involved in this," Dan quickly replied. "I know you're very busy and I would never take you away from your duties."

"It's not that. I know you wouldn't ask me to do that, but I also know that you'll, like, devote yourself to helping him even at your own expense," 90s Kid said, his frown becoming more pronounced. 

"I swear, Kid, I won't get in over my head."

"Hmmm." 

Dan could see the doubt and worry in 90s Kid's eyes. While it hurt to acknowledge his fiance's lack of faith in him, Dan knew 90s Kid was only looking out for him and trying to keep the situation from growing out of control. "How about this?" he offered, looking directly into the younger man's eyes. "If you think I'm in over my head, I will fully trust your judgment and do what you suggest. But if I can get through to Snob on my own, you trust my judgment and let me keep handling things like I am. Is that okay?"

90s Kid thought it over for a bit before nodding. "Okay, Dan. I trust you, so I'll follow your lead for now."

"Thanks, sweetie. I love you." They shared a kiss before turning their attention back toward the porch.

"So what now?"

"Now, we make breakfast and let Snob come to us when he's ready."

Unfortunately for Dan, Snob did not seem ready to come to them during breakfast, lunch, or dinner. He barely moved from his spot outside except to visit the bathroom twice, and never bothered to grab any food or drinks during his journey back to the deck. By the time night had fallen, Dan's confidence was also much lower than it had been that morning and he admitted as such to 90s Kid. 

"I think you should go talk to him, dude," 90s Kid prodded, taking hold of Dan's hand. "He needs a friend right now and you know him better than a lot of people do. If you don't wanna get him any professional help, then I think you're the best person for the job."

Dan looked to 90s Kid, unsure of himself, before he nodded. "I know, Kid. I'm just so worried that I might somehow make things worse, but... I have to try." 

"I know you'll do great,"90s Kid told him with a smile. Dan couldn't help but smile back. "I'll be up in your room, so don't be too long, okay?" 

"Right. Thanks, sweetie." He squeezed the teen's hand before letting go, taking a deep breath, and stepping out onto the deck. It had been snowing on and off all day and Snob's coat was dotted with a few flakes he hadn't bothered to brush off. Unfortunately, the coat was the only thing Snob had bothered to put on when going outside and Dan wondered just how cold the other man had gotten.

"Snob?" Snob didn't react to Dan's call, so he approached the smoking man a bit timidly. "Is it alright if I sit with you?" 

Snob didn't respond, instead putting more focus on rubbing his cigarette out against the plastic surface of the cheap deck table Dolly was always complaining about before dropping it into the small pile that had accumulated next to his feet as the hours had passed. When he reached into a pocket to retrieve another one, Dan decided to throw caution to the wind and sat down directly beside Snob. He glanced over at him, hoping Snob would growl in annoyance or tell him to back off, but the faint light seen in his eyes that morning had already dimmed. 

"You've been out here all day," Dan softly stated. "You haven't eaten anything and you aren't talking. I'm really starting to get worried about you, Snob." 

Snob lit his next cigarette and took a long, slow drag from it, before exhaling a large cloud. The longer Dan was around him, the stronger his own craving grew and just when he was on the verge of running into the house to find some gum, he found Snob offering his pack to him. 

"Take one," he commanded, and Dan instantly obeyed. He watched Snob press the lit end of his to Dan's before he pulled it into his mouth and inhaled almost reverently. 

"Why is that so good?" he moaned as a small puff of air slipped past his lips. 

"Anything that's good is meant to kill us," Snob flatly replied, his eyes locked onto the horizon. "Tasty food, alcohol, this shit... the happier something makes us, the quicker life wants to take us away from it. Or take it away from us." 

Dan lowered his hand and looked to Snob sadly. "I hate seeing you like this, Snob. You're the kind of person who should always be full of pep, ready to grab life by the throat and kick it in the ass until you get what you want from it. I know things are hard now... beyond hard, even, but you're going to get through this, Snob. There's got to be something I can say or do to help you realize that. I don't know exactly what you're going through, but there was once a time when I was also afraid that I'd lost 90s Kid for good," he admitted. "I spiraled out of control and I only managed to keep from losing myself for good because of some amazing friends." Dan smiled as he thought about Boffo and Ted. "They helped me, Snob, they reached out and talked to me when I needed someone, and that's what I want to do for you. You must have come to me for a reason, so I'm letting you know that I'm here for you, no matter what you need."

A few clouds passed in front of the moon, covering the deck in complete darkness. The only light to be found were two pinpricks of fire rising and falling at regular intervals. It grew so quiet that Dan started to wonder if Snob had stood up and walked away without him even noticing.

"Did I ever tell you about how Phelous and I first met?"

Dan turned his head in surprise, but was unable to see Snob's face at all in the darkness. "I don't think so."

"Remember that time the Nostalgia Critic called a bunch of us out west to take over some shitty micro-nation?" Dan gave an affirmative nod. "That was the first time I met Phelous in person. I'd talked to him before online-he asked me for a cameo in one of his reviews. I was supposed to be pissed off that he was reviewing something I had, so I goaded him into suicide. It was fucking bleak and really weird considering he actually did it, but Phelous has a weird sense of humor. I guess that's part of the reason why I didn't find him to be a total fucking asshole right off the bat." 

As he spoke, Snob leaned back in his deck chair and kept his eyes trained on the starless sky. 

"Anyway, we'd talked a few times online but we never met in person until that Molossia fiasco. It was the first time a lot of us met and what I remember most were the jokes people made about how fucking short I was and how damn tall Phelous was. Those mother-fucking pricks couldn't shut up about either of those attributes, which only served to draw us closer together so we could bitch about how obnoxious they all were." 

Even though he was complaining, Snob let out a small smile as he spoke. "Eventually Critic banned me for whatever the fuck reason, I don't even remember, so I ended up back at the hotel. The others wound up there too once they realized that our beloved leader had lost his God-damned mind and we all planned to attack him... I think, I wasn't really paying attention. Anyway, after the plan had been drawn up, Phelous and I ended up having a few drinks at the bar. We shit on Critic for a while, as well as everyone else there, before turning our attention to the shitty movies we reviewed. Well, drinking and talking eventually led to kissing, then making out, then being kicked out of the bar, before we finally ended up in my room for the night." 

Snob closed his eyes and Dan leaned in closer toward him, afraid to miss a single word. "It wasn't the best sex I'd ever had, and the same went for him. How could it be-we were both exhausted and drunk off our asses. I don't even remember much of what happened that night; but what I do remember is what happened when we woke up the next morning."

\-------

Snob rolled over, onto the edge of the queen-sized hotel room bed, which wasn't his most brilliant idea, since it resulted in him toppling face-first onto the floor.

"Fuck," he groaned, rubbing his throbbing nose, before he winced as he realized it wasn't the only part of him which was throbbing. Snob wasn't sure how much he'd had to drink the night before, but it was definitely enough to leave him with a severe pounding in his head and a burning sensation in his throat.

Not willing to face the prospect of launching an attack on an insane man in an M. Bison costume with a splitting headache, Snob crawled his way into the small bathroom and managed to turn on the shower head before he climbed into the tub.

A half hour later Snob felt somewhat better, but he still planned on downing a handful of aspirin before doing anything else. After drying himself off and tossing the towel onto the floor, where he'd also left his suit, he walked back out into his room to search for not only his suitcase, but the room service menu since he was starving. He didn't need to look hard for the latter, since it was currently in the hands of Phelous, who was sitting up in Snob's bed and browsing through it.

"Good, you're out," he said, glancing over the top of the laminated pages at the shorter man. "I was worried you'd use up all the hot water."

Completely baffled as to why Phelous was sitting in his bed, and suddenly realizing that he was completely naked, Snob's face went red as he scrambled to grab the bed spread, which had been lying on the floor in a crumpled heap, and wrap it around his waist.

Phelous let out a snicker. "What, you're shy now? Heh, you're cute."

"W-what the fuck are you doing?" Snob sputtered, hoping desperately that his face conveyed anger instead of the embarrassment. 

"Trying to decide between the eggs Benedict and the waffles. I know the eggs are more expensive, but everything's on Critic's dime, so why the fuck shouldn't I take advantage of that?"

"I meant what are you doing here?" Snob clarified, finally managing to knot the quilted fabric around his waist in a sufficient enough manner to allow him to stomp over to the bed. 

Phelous’ amused expression morphed into one of concern. "You really don't remember?"

"Do I look like I know what the hell is going on?"

"Last night we were at the bar, drinking and shooting the shit," Phelous explained as he set down the menu. "We got pretty wasted and then you kissed me before you started ranting about something called 'Super Hornio Brothers', I think it was. Anyway, one rant led to another, from shitty parody pornos, to the actors who star in them, to the dick sizes of porn actors in general. Then you started claiming that you were as big as anyone in any of those movies, and I said you were bull-shitting me, and that made you very desperate to prove yourself to me and, well..."

"Oh my God." Snob buried his face in his hands as flashes of memory started to collect in his brain. He could taste the shitty hotel-brand beer on his tongue, hear the low rumble of laughter deep in Phelous's chest, feel those rough, wet lips against his neck and chest and... then it went blank. "Fuck me so hard. How could I do this? I don't even remember what I did. I swear to Christ, I am never drinking again!"

Phelous frowned. "You don't remember any of it?"

"No! I mean I do remember some of that shit from the bar, but not any of the parts worth remembering. Do you?"

"Not all of it," Phelous admitted slowly. "I do know that after we spent about twenty minutes searching for your room, we realized we were on the wrong floor. Then I remembered that my room was on this floor and close by, so I offered it, and I'm pretty sure I locked Film Brain out all night."

"Oh, fuck that fetus. He probably spent the night up Critic's ass anyway," Snob spat out, which caused Phelous to snicker. "What's more important is figuring out how I'm going to get out of here without anyone seeing me. The last thing I need is any of these idiots giving me shit for making a fucking mistake."

Phelous's expression flickered before he gripped the edge of his blanket tightly. "I'm... really sorry about all this happening. I know we were both drunk off our asses but I never meant to do anything to upset you. Before everything happened, I was actually having spending time with you. I haven't made a lot of friends on the site yet and I really liked getting to know you, but if you don't want to hang out anymore or anything, I'll understand."

There was a disappointment in Phelous's words that Snob hadn't been expecting and it caused him to turn toward the taller man in confusion. "I never said I didn't want to hang out with you again. Actually, I was expecting it to go the other way, but... you want to be around me?"

"Well yeah." Phelous replied, as if this should be obvious.

"No-no, I mean... d-do you actually like me?"

Snob looked oddly flustered when asking this, and it caused Phelous's warm smile to return. 

"Do you think I'd fuck someone I didn't like? I have some standards, you know. I don't just drag home the first guy I'm propositioned by."

"Well neither do I!" Snob snapped, for some reason trying to protect a reputation he didn't actually have. "I am a very respectible critic and film-maker, so if I take a guy to bed, it's because I think he's actually worthy of my amazing self!"

"Heh, thanks," Phelous said, now beaming at Snob. Realizing what he'd said, Snob growled and slapped his still-red cheeks.

"God damn it... I swear, I am never drinking again!"

"I think I'll cut back too. It would be nice if we were both able to actually remember things the next time we do this."

Snob's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "The next time?"

Phelous couldn't help chuckling at his shock. "Shit, Snob, am I the first person who's actually stuck around after you've fucked him or something?"

"Shut up!" Snob snapped, trying not to look as injured as he felt by Phelous's scarily accurate question. 

"Alright, alright, calm down. I'm not trying to start any shit here." Surprisingly for Snob, Phelous's calm tone was enough to settle his nerves. Despite not knowing the man well, there was something about him, some quality that led Snob to believe he was sincere and worthy of being listened to. "We can decide what we are and what we're going to be later, after we've dealt with this whole Critic situation. Since I don't want to do that on an empty stomach, why don't you call down for breakfast while I go take a shower. I've decided to get the eggs with a side of bacon, and if you want to share or anything, it's cool."

Phelous handed Snob the menu before climbing out of bed and rolling his neck and shoulders as he tried to work out some of the knots the prior few days in Nevada had created. He was also completely nude and though Snob pretended not to care, he couldn't help sneaking several glances at the taller man and feeling amazed that he'd completely blocked out a body like this one from his memories. As he surveyed Phelous's curves and planes, Snob noticed a number of red scratches and tooth-marked wounds dotting his flesh. He clenched the menu nervously in his hands.

"Uh, sorry about that."

"Hmm?" Phelous, unperturbed by his state of undress, turned to Snob in confusion.

"Those marks on your chest and neck and, um, ass," Snob muttered.

Phelous glanced down at himself before smirking. "Oh, you don't have to apologize for those. I kept enouraging you to bite harder. I'm kind of into pain," he admitted sheepishly.

Snob arched an eyebrow. "I can't believe I forgot about that too. What else are you into?"

Phelous grinned. "Did you think it would be that easy, Snob?"

Snob grinned in return. "No, but that's just how I like it."

\-------

Dan drank in every word of Snob's story and by the time it was over, he felt so overwhelmed with emotion he was certain he might faint at any moment.

"That... is one of the sweetest stories I've ever heard in my life!" he burst out, barely able to contain his glee. "I think it's only topped by my very first meeting with Kid... in fact, I'm positive that that is the second-most romantic love story I've ever heard in my life! Thank you for sharing that magnificent tale with me, Snob! You and Phelous make such a cute couple and your love is truly unrivaled-present company excluded, of course!"

The clouds started to dissipate, allowing the moon to shower the world with its soft glow once more. Dan beamed when he was able to see Snob's face again, though Snob retained his solemn expression.

"Why are you talking like that, Dan?"

"Like what?" Dan asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

"In the present tense."

Dan's heart sank into his stomach and he clutched the arms of his chair. "B-because... your love is wonderful and stong and still happening right this moment..."

"You really are an idiot, aren't you?"

Dan tried not to wince too noticeably at that remark but he was sure Snob saw it regardless. "It's, um, it's getting late, Snob. I know you've enjoyed your time out here, but I think you've had enough. Come inside with me. You don't really want to stay out here alone anymore, right?"

Snob's head slowly rotated until he was gazing at Dan with an almost blank expression. 

"What would you do if you went back inside the house and found 90s Kid lying dead on the floor, Dan?" 

Dan's breath died in his throat and his fingers tensed, the cigarette dropping onto the cement steps and rolling forward an inch. 

"How would you feel after you realized that your one chance for love and happiness in this world was gone? Do you think you'd be hanging out with your buddies, just smiling and laughing and enjoying the day? Would you go out and 'kick life's ass'? Would you walk around like Mary Fucking Sunshine and pretend that everything was okay, that everything would just go back to normal? Or would you be sitting here on this porch, smoking and letting all the thoughts you've worked so damn hard to keep out of your head wash right over you?" 

Snob lowered his voice and Dan felt a chill crawl up his spine. "I-I've been where you are, Snob. Before, when Kid was in the hospital, and even earlier, when he was gone on a mission and I couldn't reach him, I started letting those thoughts creep into my mind. I wasn't strong enough to hold them back for a while, but I was able to get through it because I had friends-"

"You were able to get through it because 90s Kid wasn't fucking dead!" Snob snarled, the rage in his eyes causing Dan to shrink down in fear. "You could see him in the hospital, you could fucking touch him if you needed to, but I can't do that! Even when you lost contact with him, you still had the hope of him coming back to you to hold onto, even if it was buried deep inside your fucked up mind! But I don't have that, Dan! I have nothing to hold onto, no hope, no body, because Phelous is gone! He's fucking gone and he can't come back!"

Dan was trembling, utterly terrified of this path Snob seemed to be careening down, but he pushed his fear back and forced himself to speak. "I-I know it was different, Snob, b-but the fear and pain I felt was just as real as yours. I know how easy it is to let those dark and terrible thoughts take over, and how you'd do anything to make them stop, no matter how horrible-"

"Maybe it wouldn't be all that horrible."

Dan's breath caught in his throat and his eyes widened with alarm."Please tell me you're not actually considering what I think you are, Snob." 

Snob let out a short bark of a laugh, the sound so bizarre it made Dan wince. "Fuck no. I'm too much of a coward for that. I was just fucking with you." 

Despite this reassurance, Dan wasn't sure he fully believed it. "There has to be something... anything I can do, Snob." He looked to the man in desperation. "You've been there for me when I needed you and I want to be there too. I-I'm not trying to make this all about me, but I'm right here, Snob." As he spoke, Dan reached out and grabbed his hand, which was freezing cold, and clutched it tightly within his own. "Yell at me, insult me, hit me all you want," Dan begged, "do anything to show me you haven't given up! Please, Snob!" 

Snob glanced down at their entwined fingers for a moment before taking another drag and then pulling away. "I'm going to bed."

Dan watched him stomp on his cigarette before he turned and walked into the house. A sudden breeze chilled his skin, but he remained outside a little longer, trying to think of any words of comfort, any sources of hope or optimism he could offer Snob. When he came up empty, Dan collected the smashed cigarette butts, stuffed them into his pocket, and finally went to bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Dan awoke the next morning with an unsettled feeling that only grew in intensity when he realized he was alone in his bed.

"Kid?" he asked in a strangely panicked voice. "Snob? Anyone?!" 

"I'm here, Dan." A warm hand on his shoulder settled Dan instantly before he looked up into the concerned eyes of 90s Kid. He'd been sitting in a chair beside the small window facing out into the backyard and coloring in his favorite sketchbook. "Are you okay? Did you have bad dreams?"

"Oh, no, no," Dan hastily answered as scrambled out of bed and hurried over to embrace 90s Kid. "I can't even remember what my dreams were about, but they still gave me this strange feeling and then I thought I was alone-gosh, I feel silly now that I'm talking about it." 

"It's not silly," 90s Kid reassured as he hugged the older man tightly. "Everyone's majorly stressed right now. I'm actually grateful that you aren't having bad dreams, since I can't say the same for Snob-dude."

Dan grimaced as he remembered how much Snob had tossed and turned. Throughout the night he'd moaned and whimpered for someone who could not come to him, just as he'd done when he was a boy, nothing able to soothe him, not even the hugs and comforting touches offered by his bedmates. 

"Where is he?" 

"Out there." 90s Kid gestured out the window with his head. "He got up super early, like before the sun even did, took a bottle of something from the fridge, and went to go sit on the deck again. I can barely see him from here, but if I tilt my head just right I can see the bottle when it's bobbing up and down." 

Frowning, Dan peered out the window just in time to catch the bottle, one of Dolly's expensive whiskey bottles if he wasn't mistaken, being set down on the railing of the deck. "So he's been out there drinking all morning." Dan turned back to 90s Kid, his expression softening. "And you've been awake for hours watching over him. Aw, sweetie, you didn't have to go that far." 

90s Kid shrugged, looking half-embarrassed. "I just, like, didn't want him to be alone. I mean, he is alone, but when I was watching him, it was like I was sort of with him. I dunno, it wasn't a big deal." 

"It is to me." Dan cupped the teen's cheeks and pulled him down for a kiss. "You can get another few hours of sleep if you want, Kid. I can watch him now." 

90s Kid let out a large yawn and rubbed at his bloodshot eyes. "Thanks, man. Wake me when we're having lunch." 

"Will do!" 

Once he was certain that 90s Kid was snoozing peacefully, Dan's smile fell as he turned his gaze back to Snob. Being alone was something they both feared more than anything else. How could he possibly make Snob believe that being alone did not mean everything else in his life was pointless when Dan knew he wouldn't have believed the same if their positions were reversed?

Dan took his time walking down the stairs and over to the backyard patio door, trying with every step to gather the courage necessary to walk out there and face Snob. He had no idea what he was going to say or if it would even do any good, that is if Snob actually managed to listen to what he had to say. He caught a glimpse of Snob out the sliding glass door and saw him knock back another large swig of whiskey, sighing as he already felt that he was fighting a losing battle. But he refused to give up without at least trying to help his best friend, so he squared his thin shoulders and carefully slid the door open so as not to startle him. 

"Snob?" Dan asked in a soft tone. Snob continued staring off into space without acknowledging Dan's existence. Dan reached out and gently touched hiss shoulder, then recoiled swiftly as Snob shrugged violently away from the touch and looked up at Dan with red-ringed eyes and a haunted, disheveled look. 

"Don't fucking touch me!" 

"I-I'm sorry, Snob. I didn't mean to startle you." 

Snob's face changed and his eyelids started to lower once again, but instead of looking calm, he seemed dejected, as if he'd lost all hope in life. "It's fine. What the hell does it matter anyway? It doesn't matter. Nothing matters..."

"Snob, you... you can't say that," Dan said, but Snob cut him off by slamming his bottle down onto the railing harshly enough to make Dan flinch. 

"Save it. I don't want to hear some big spiel about how I have to be brave and how everything gets better with time and I just have to stay positive, because that's all shit, Dan. Everything about my life is shit. I was born into shit and I lived in shit for many years until I found the one thing that made it all better. But now it's gone and all I have is shit, so just keep your fucking mouth closed because I don't need any of the shit that's about to pour out of it. I have plenty here, thanks." 

Snob tilted the bottle to his lips and drank, ignoring how a crack in the bottom had appeared and was allowing precious alcohol to dribble all over his suit jacket.

Dan watched him, feeling pitiful and helpless, before he nodded. "Alright, Snob. I'll leave you alone." Dejected, Dan retreated into the kitchen and sat down at the table, his head slumped over his folded arms. 

Dolly set down a plate of pancakes before sliding into the seat next to him. "Rough night?" she asked as she poured syrup over her stack. 

"I'll say it was," ROB replied as he appeared beside Dan's head somehow. "I haven't heard that much moaning and bed squeaking since you brought home that tape of naughty bodybuilders caught on camera." 

"It's Snob," Dan replied. "He isn't sleeping well, he isn't eating well, and now all he wants to do is drink and be left alone. I want to help him, guys, but I don't know how." He lifted his head up and stared at them both desperately. "What am I supposed to do?"

Dolly sighed, clearly unprepared to have to be the voice of reason for Dan, but unable to turn him down after seeing that lost look on his face. "Look, Dan, you've been trying like hell to make things easier for him, but you can't solve all his problems. None of us can. You need to get the help of a professional who actually knows how to help him recover." 

Dan shuddered as he thought about how Snob would react if confronted with that choice, but sighed as he realized it was his last viable option. "I... I know. I know that's what he needs, but he'd have to be dragged kicking and screaming into it. He'd probably never speak to me again... what if he talks to someone and still doesn't feel better?" Dan hugged himself tightly, trying not to give in to the despair welling up inside him. "He needs Phelous so much. What if he's never the same as he was?" 

"Then the world will have to find another guy with a stick up his ass to review shitty movies, and there are no shortage of those," ROB snarked, to which Dolly threw a sticky fork at his head. 

"Shut up, ROB!" She turned back to Dan and placed her hand on his arm, unused to feeling this much sympathy for him, but unable to ignore his growing distress. "Look, I have a friend who works in a psychiatrist's office. I can get you the number of someone who can talk to him about this kind of thing." 

Dan nodded slowly, resigned to his fate, and rested his head in his hands. "Maybe you're right, Dolly. I'll make sure he sobers up and talk to him about making an appointment with someone."

"You're doing the right thing," Dolly said as she took a bite of her pancakes. 

"I wish it felt that way," Dan muttered. After forcing down a few pancakes and a glass of juice, Dan padded around the house feeling uncertain about almost everything. He wanted to wake 90s Kid to talk things over with, but he stopped himself each time he set one foot onto the stairs. He had already asked so much of the teen and he was not going to deny him rest when he needed it. Instead, Dan found his thoughts turning to another person who he'd often found it easy to speak with. After checking to make sure Snob was still on the deck, Dan walked into the empty living room and pulled out his cell phone. 

"Yello?" a cheerful voice came from the other end. 

"Harvey? Hi, it's Dan." 

"Oh, Crockett! Good to hear from ya! How are things shakin' in your neck of the woods?" 

"Um, not so good," Dan admitted, his eyes nervously darting toward the back door every so often in fear that Snob would somehow appear inside without him realizing it. "My friend is in trouble and I'm having a hard time helping him out of it." 

Harvey's voice lost his cheer at once. "Right. The Kid told me about that... although it now comes to mind that I wasn't supposed to know about this situation, so I apologize, Crockett. Once I found out the Kid was worried about something, I couldn't stop myself from asking about it." 

"No, it's fine. It's actually better that you know, because I don't have to explain it," Dan replied. 

"So, your pal's having a rough time?" 

"Very rough. I've tried to talk to him and let him know he can lean on me, but it's not enough. He's lost someone he loves and despite knowing plenty about the subject, this time I can't relate to him, Harvey." 

"You can at least be glad for that." 

"I am, believe me I am!" Dan cried. "But as relieved as I am about that, it means I can't talk to him anymore! I can't make him believe that everything will be alright because I don't believe that myself, and Dolly thinks I should take him to a real doctor, which I know he won't want to do, and he's going to end up hating me no matter what I try, so I'm stuck. Harvey, I'm stuck!!"

"Take a few breaths, Crockett," Harvey calmly instructed. Dan, who had been rather worked up, quickly obeyed until his heart rate and his breathing had slowed a bit. "Good. Now, answer me this, as honestly as you can: do you think Snob is a danger to himself or to anyone around him?" 

Dan bit his lip and thought back to the conversation he'd had with Snob the previous night, back to how the life in Snob's eyes had been completely drained and how calmly he'd mentioned something Dan had also considered during some of his lowest points. "Maybe," he finally had to admit.

"Then seeing a professional is not just the best thing for him, but the only thing," Harvey said in a tone so serious it made Dan feel cold inside. "I've been in a bad place before, a really dark, dangerous place, and I couldn't have pulled myself out without help. If you can't be the one to help your friend, then you need to find someone who can as soon as possible." 

Dan closed his eyes, his voice small and shaky. "And what if... what if he... hates me afterwards, Harvey?" 

It was quiet for a moment before Harvey responded. "Which scenario would you prefer, Dan: Snob alive and hating you, or Snob your friend who's dead?" 

Dan shuddered and clutched the phone tightly until his fingers ached. "Alive," he whispered. 

"Then you truly are someone he can call a friend, Dan. And in my opinion, a true friend will forgive you for making the tough choices when they're necessary, even if it takes some time." 

"Thanks, Harvey. I... I hope you're right." 

"Call me tomorrow, Crockett and tell me how it goes. Oh, and give Junior a kiss for me, alright?" 

"I will."

Dan hung up the phone and felt ever-so-slightly calmer about his decision, but not any less depressed or anxious about having to do so. Unable to stand the rising tide of loneliness any longer, he walked up the stairs to his bedroom and slipped in as quietly as possible, closing the door silently behind him. He couldn't bear to be alone right now, but he knew Snob would refuse to talk to him and he needed to take refuge with the person he loved most. 90s Kid was still fast asleep, curled up on his side and looking very peaceful and serene. Dan carefully laid his body down next to his, satisfied with merely being near 90s Kid even if he wasn't awake, but to his relief the teen's arm curled around Dan and pulled him close even in sleep. Dan curled into the embrace and held tight, trying to smother the waves of emotions that had become too heavy to bear those last few days. 

He hated seeing Snob fall apart at the seams, hated having to live with the knowledge that one of his friends might be dead, hated having to be the one to save his best friend from his grief at the risk of losing his friendship for good. Dan was very fragile when it came to receiving affection from others. There were very few people he could claim to call friends; Snob was one and he couldn't bear the thought of losing him. But maybe Harvey was right; maybe Snob would understand, even if he was angry about it at first. Dan had to try and do the right thing. He had to be strong and do what Snob needed, even if it terrified him.

Dan closed his eyes and soaked in his fiance's loving embrace for a long time, not quite falling asleep but not completely awake either, until 90s Kid eventually began to stir on his own. "Huh? Oh, hey Dan," 90s Kid murmured in a groggy voice, squeezing him under his arm warmly. At first all he could think about was how glad he was Dan decided to join him, before memory caught up with him and he sat up on his arm, looking much more awake. "Where's Snob-dude? Did everything go okay?"

Dan looked down sadly, letting out another sigh. "No. I couldn't do a single thing for him, Kid. I can only sit and watch him suffer or hurt himself, but I refuse to do that. It's time, Kid. We have to put him in the hands of someone else." 

90s Kid hugged Dan tightly once again, his heart aching at the sight of his miserable fiance. "You did everything you could for him, Dan. It's not your fault." 

"I know, but I wish I could do more. I really don't want him to hate me for this, but...I think maybe there's a chance he might forgive me later." He looked up shyly into 90s Kid's eyes. "I hope you don't mind, but I called Harvey about this. He's just so good at giving people the right advice, even when it hurts, and I didn't want to burden you with even more bad news." 

90s Kid squeezed him, shaking his head. "Dude, you're not burdening me. And I'm not mad, cuz Harvey-dude's someone you can always go to when you need him." 

Dan recalled the end of his and the lounge singer's conversation and leaned up to peck 90s Kid on the cheek. "Oh yeah, he told me to give you that." 

90s Kid's cheeks turned pink. "Heh, thanks, dude." Growing serious again, 90s Kid squeezed Dan's hand. "Look, I know how hard this is gonna be, but you don't have to go through this alone. I'll help you do everything you need to do for him and if it gets too hard, we'll all here for you. Just like we'll all be there for him."

90s Kid embraced Dan for the second time that day and they held each other in silence for a little while. Eventually Dan pulled away so he could walk over to the window and glance down at the deck. "He's still there. I think he's passed out, though, since the bottle is lying sideways and there's a puddle of brown liquid that's dripping off the edge. At least we don't have to worry about him for a few hours." 

90s Kid came over to peer down at Snob as well. "Are we just gonna leave him out there?" 

"For now," Dan replied. "He deserves a few more hours of peace before I tell him about my idea." 

Those few hours turned into more than Dan had expected and by the time Snob woke up again, the Chinese food delivery man had arrived at the door with dinner. Snob entered the house with bleary eyes and peered around at the crowded table, which included not just 90s Kid, Dan, and his roommates but the Crabtrees as well. 

"Hey, sleepy head," Mrs. Crabtree called. "You here to join us for some Kung Pao?" 

"I need more booze," Snob muttered as he made his way toward the fridge and rummaged around inside. 

"You already owe me $18.99 for the Jack Daniels you stole," Dolly called out to him. 

"Put it on my tab, along with this," Snob growled as he pulled the top off a bottle of vodka and started to drink it without bothering to use a cup. 

"Hey, we were going to do shots with that later," Travis complained. 

"Don't worry, I've got an emergency bottle stashed in my car," Mrs. Crabtree replied. 

"That only makes me worry more," Travis muttered. 

Dan and 90s Kid shared a look before the older man jumped from the table and hurried to Snob's side. "Say, it's not good to drink on an empty stomach. Why don't you put that down for now and share a few eggrolls with me? I'll even let you have my fortune cookie!" 

"Get away from me," Snob said, shoving Dan back with his free hand.

90s Kid instinctively rose from the table and hurried over to Dan's side, wanting to be nearby in case things got worse, and considering the circumstances, that was a likely outcome. "Dan's right, Snob. You can't just keep drinking to forget your problems and stop taking care of yourself." 

"Who the fuck says I can't?!" Snob snapped back so harshly that Dan and 90s Kid winced. "Look around, you fucking morons, all of your so-called friends go around plastered out of their minds so they don't have to think about their shitty lives! Since when is it such a bad fucking thing when I do it, especially since my life is way fucking worse than any of theirs combined!" 

Snob took another swig of vodka and 90s Kid looked to Dan, whose heart sank to the floor as as he realized what he needed to do. 

"Snob... 90s Kid and I think it's time that we seek some professional help for you. We're... we're worried that you're not taking care of yourself, and you won't let any of us help you, so we think a therapist might be the best thing for you." All the color drained from Dan's face as he said this, but he forced his eyes not to waver and his voice not to break as he waited for Snob's reaction.

"Yeah, I'm a real danger to all the shitty booze you keep in this dump," Snob remarked as he took another swallow. 

"We're not kidding," 90s Kid replied. 

Snob lowered the bottle and glared at him. "Do you think I give a fuck what you say, zygote? I know Dan, and he won't do a fucking thing if I tell him not to. Right, Dan?" 

"Not this time, Snob." 

Snob met Dan's eyes and realized almost instantly that the other man would not back down. His lips curled back into a sneer and his eyes filled with rage. 

"Who the fuck do you think you are?! Just tell me, Dan, who the everlasting fuck do you think you are to tell me what to do with my fucking life?!" 

"Calm down," 90s Kid tried to say, before he let out a grunt as Snob pushed him backwards as well. This spurred Dan to action and he grabbed Snob by the lapels of his jacket, slamming him hard into the door of the refrigerator. 

"Don't touch 90s Kid!" he spat out, his eyes burning with a hatred he'd never before felt for Snob.

"Fuck you!" Snob spat back. 

"You can hate me all you want, but don't you ever lay a finger on him again!" Dan warned.

"Dan, it's okay, I'm okay," 90s Kid tried to reassure him, but Dan refused to release his grip on Snob. 

"Do you understand me, Snob?" Snob glared back at him, refusing to answer. "I said, do you understand me? I know you're hurting right now, but I will not let you use that as an excuse to hurt anyone else!" 

"You fucking... you... piece of... shit..." Snob's expression of rage suddenly melted away as his face turned a sickly shade of grin. 

"Dude, I think he's gonna blow chunks," 90s Kid murmured, one hand resting on Dan's shoulder. "You'd better let go, Dan, before it's too late." 

Without relaxing his expression, Dan released his hold on Snob and watched as the man fled into the nearest bathroom to expel all the alcohol he'd drank that day. The sound of his retching echoed loudly throughout the small house.

"Well, I'm full," Travis muttered as he pushed his plate away. 

"Me too," Dolly said, doing the same. 

"Great, more spare ribs for me!" Mrs. Crabtree announced as she pulled the abandoned plates toward her. 

"A woman with an iron stomach and a girl after my own heart," ROB sighed as he watched her chow down.

Dan's fists were still clenched and he was breathing hard through his nose, his thin body trembling from the force of his anger. 

"Dude, it's okay, it's okay," 90s Kid continued to say as he gently massaged Dan's shoulders and tried to calm him. "I know Snob's hurting really bad right now and he totally doesn't know what he's doing. It didn't even hurt me, man, I'm not upset." 

"He still had no right to do that to you!" Dan protested, blue eyes flashing with anger. "All I'm doing is trying to help him and he responded by attacking you!" 

"I know, and I love that you protected me, but you have to calm down." 90s Kid squeezed Dan's shoulders tightly as he looked down at him with a serious expression. "This whole thing is hard enough as it is without you getting angry too. Snob needs you now more than ever, so try and remember that he's only doing this junk because he's hurting so badly. It isn't right, but you can't freak out on him like that again, or else you'll never reach him. "

Dan's self-righteousness quickly faded and was swiftly replaced by guilt, his face falling and his body crumpling slightly as he hugged his arms around himself. "You're right. Damn it, why did I do that? Now he definitely won't ever want to speak to me again..."

"That's not true, dude, you know that's not true," 90s Kid said softly as he wrapped his arms around Dan. 

"Uh, all these emotions are making me uncomfortable," Travis said as he awkwardly glanced away from the couple. 

"Wanna hit the bar?" Dolly suggested.

"More than anything." 

"Aw, but I'm still not done eating," Mrs. Crabtree protested. 

Travis picked up the plates and dumped the contents into an empty carton. "Here, take it with you. Let's just get the hell out of here before they start crying or something." 

"Hey, wait up!" ROB called as he wheeled out after the retreating three. 

Once they were alone in the kitchen, 90s Kid kissed Dan softly. "If you do wanna cry, it's okay." 

"No, I'm fine," Dan said, although he wasn't sure how honest he was being. Just then Snob reappeared in the kitchen, his face white and his eyes dull. Dan tensed up, fearing the worst, but all Snob did was say, "I'm going to bed" before he turned and started to walk away. 

"Oh. Well, Snob, I think we should discuss the sleeping arrangements," Dan called out, feeling bolder as he looked at 90s Kid for assurance. "I think it'd be best if 90s Kid and I stayed in my room and you stayed in the guest room, Snob. It's not because we're mad or anything. Kid and I are just... we're very tried, so I hope you understand-" 

Something flickered in Snob's eyes and he tensed. "I wasn't going to your bed, dipshit," Snob said sharply. Instead, he made his way into the guestroom and slammed the door shut behind him. 

"You didn't have to do that for me," 90s Kid said softly.

"Yes I did." Dan hugged 90s Kid and rested his head against his chest. "Even if he ends up hating me, I don't want him around you if he's still angry."

"Thanks, Dan. You know, maybe spending some time apart is for the best," 90s Kid said when he noticed how tense Dan still felt. "Maybe all that puking got rid of the negative junk in his system, and a good night's sleep will make him feel like himself again." 

Dan doubted this but he responded with, "Yeah, maybe." There was no point in crushing the spirits of someone who was only trying to help. 

"So, you wanna finish dinner, dude?" 

"I don't know..." 

"It's not good if you don't eat," 90s Kid said, hugging Dan tightly. 

Dan could feel the concern pouring off him so he nodded. "You're right. Let's eat." Even though his stomach felt like lead, Dan forced down enough food to satisfy 90s Kid.

\-----

"Save it, Phelous! I am so fucking sick of your shit.!"

"I said I'm sorry, Snob. I know I screwed up, but what else can I do to make it right?"

"You can pull your head out of your ass and stop being such a fucking moron!"

"Is that really called for? Are you really that mad over one little mistake?"

Are you really that much of an incompetent fuckwad?"

The fire inside Snob, which had been burning brightly, was instantly doused when Phelous, instead of retaliating, turned and took a step toward the front door.

"W-where are you going?"

"Out."

"Out where?"

"I don't know. Somewhere that isn't here." 

"You can't." Snob wanted to chase after the taller man, but for some reaosn his body was frozen in place. "You can't leave. You said you'd never leave."

Phelous stared at Snob, his warm brown eyes dulled with exhaustion, before he pulled open the door. "I'm not leaving, Snob. I'm just tired... you make me so fucking tired sometimes..." 

\-----

That night Dan tossed and turned fretfully as he failed to sleep, in spite of 90s Kid's many attempts to soothe him. He was unable to close his eyes without thinking about how he may have ruined one of his most cherished relationships for good. 

Unknown to either of them, Snob paced the floor in the guest bedroom, smoking what must have been his hundredth cigarette and feeling very lost, as though he were miles away from anywhere in spite of standing in a familiar bedroom. After a few minutes of pacing as he attempted to think, he turned towards the door as though he had never noticed it before, reached for the handle, and opened it, stepping out into the darkened hallway. His gaze fell upon Dan's bedroom door disdainfully before he looked away immediately. He didn't want to see either of them right now. He didn't need them, or their so-called 'help.' 

The only thing he needed was missing and may never be returning to him. 

The walls of the house seemed to slowly suffocate Snob. He had to get out of there. He had no idea where he was going, but he had to get out of that house. Now.

It was so cold outside that Snob could see his breath with every step he took, but he refused to turn back for a scarf or mittens, or even a coat. He could not return to a place that no longer welcomed him, a place that rejected him for coping in his own manner. 

Coping. Fuck, that was such a terrible word. Snob wasn't coping, he was living, damn it, he was surviving. He was forcing his eyes open every morning and closed every night, forcing himself to take one more step forward, one more bite of food, one more breath. Even if those actions no longer held meaning toward him, even if he was just going through the motions, Snob was still doing them, so who the hell was Dan to tell him he was doing them wrong?

As he walked deeper into the woods, Snob's lungs started to ache from a combination of cold and smoke, but he ignored it, urging himself forward. The pain was a good distraction, it kept from thinking about everything that had happened over the past week. Snob continued to ignore the ache inside him until he no longer could, then he grasped onto the nearest tree to keep himself from collapsing as he gasped for breath, his numb fingers cut by the rough edges of bark. Once he could stand up straight again, Snob spared less than a moment's glance at his now bleeding fingertips before he rubbed them against his slacks and continued forward. 

He wasn't following any familiar path but somehow his legs knew exactly where to guide him, over knotted roots and frost-covered stones, until at last they stopped at the sound of rushing water. Snob lifted his head and peered out over the edge of the riverbank at the Sangamon, watching as chunks of ice drifted along the water in a half-hazard manner. He didn't know for how long he stood there, but when he lifted a hand to scratch his nose, he found it almost numb to the touch. Instead of feeling worried, Snob cleared his mind of all thoughts. All but one. 

"Phelous. He wouldn't have any trouble surviving a fall into an ice-cold river." Snob didn't even realize he was speaking aloud. "Phelous survived being shot, hung, burned, attacked by all sorts of monsters. A fall like this wouldn't kill him. A fall off a fucking roof should not have killed him. But I'm not Phelous. I've never been like him. I would die... and maybe that's what I want."

Snob took a step forward, the water so loud it blocked out all other sounds. And then he stepped back. "Coward." His eyes burning, Snob turned around and began his trek back into the woods. He didn't take five steps before he realized Phelous was standing directly in front of him, staring with a blank expression.

Snob froze, no longer able to breathe or even feel the razor sharp wind whipping around his cold body. Then he sneered, realizing he was hallucinating, like a man dying of thirst who sees a pool of water in the desert. That's all this was, a warm, comforting picture during a time of crisis.

Without giving the mirage a second look, Snob walked around the familiar figure, his hands clenched tightly into fists. He was freezing and exhausted, but he was not ready to lay down in the woods and die just yet. 

Then a soft voice caught in the winter winds was carried to him and melted the ice that had been forming around his body. 

"Hey, Snob." 

Snob froze once again while the mirage took a step closer to him, than another, than another. He forced himself to look back, watching in disbelief as it offered a tiny smile. "I was worried for half a second that I'd be diving into that water, which would have sucked since my motor skills aren'e exactly in peak condition yet, but I should have known better. You hate being cold." Phelous glanced down at Snob's bare hands and frowned. "Although I guess not enough to leave the house with gloves. Shit, were you trying to make yourself sick?" 

Normally Snob would have spat out a string of curse words at Phelous for having the audacity to scold him for not taking care of himself, but on that night, he simply looked into the eyes of the man he loved and asked, in a voice shaking with fear, just one thing. 

"Is it you?" 

Phelous's expression grew serious and he nodded. "It's me, Snob. I don't know what I can say to make you believe me, but I'll do what I can to explain everything. I regenerated a few hours ago on the floor of our living room. You must have brought me inside after it happened. I didn't realize how long I'd been gone until I started searching the house for any signs of you or the cats. It didn't take long to realize you weren't home or that a week had gone by. I tried to call you but you weren't answering your phone, so I knew there was only one place you would have gone. I drove as fast I could to Dan's and I got there just in time to see you run off into the woods. I would have followed after you faster, but my legs are still getting used to moving like I want them to." 

Phelous paused to cough for several moments, wiping a bit of spittle from his chin. "Shit, I still have to get used to talking too. I know this seems weird since I always come back without issue, but something was different this time. I don't know all the details, since no one ever bothers to explain shit to me, but apparently since it's been so long since I died last, 'they' needed more time and resources to bring me back again. Apparently being fate's plaything isn't good enough for them, they also have to make everyone around me suffer too by being so stingy with this information." 

Phelous's eyes filled with sorrow. "I know that's probably not the explanation you wanted to hear. It's confusing as fuck, even to me, but it's all I can tell you, Snob-" 

Phelous's voice cut off as Snob regained control over his body and he shoved Phelous backwards with his numb hands. "You fucking asshole!" he screamed, his voice rising and cracking as he tried to make it heard above the wind. "You fucking-you promised me you'd never do that again! Do you have any idea what you just put me through?! And now you come back and you-you tell me that you-that you-" Snob's eyes suddenly flooded with tears that burned his cheeks as he threw himself at Phelous and squeezed as tightly as his arms were capable of, refusing to let the man go at any cost. "Don't you EVER fucking d-do that to me again!"

Phelous held Snob tightly against his chest, letting him curse and cry and scream until his energy was fully sapped. He knew how much Snob needed this release, and he would do whatever he could to make up for the pain he'd caused him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered when Snob finally sagged against him in exhaustion. He wiped the tears from Snob's frozen cheeks and bent down to embrace him fully. "I'm so fucking sorry, Snob." 

"You were gone." Snob's voice was almost inaudible, but the wind finally died down so his words weren't carried away with it. "You were gone, and I was here." 

"I know." 

"I was fucking here. Without you." 

"I'm sorry-" 

"Shut up. Don't be sorry. Just be here." 

"I will, Snob. I won't let this happen again." 

Snob peered up at him. "Promise?" 

"Promise." Phelous slowly lowered his head and they pressed their lips together gently. "You're freezing. Can we get somewhere warm now?" 

Snob clutched Phelous's hand tightly and nodded. "I'll go anywhere as long as you're there."


	4. Chapter 4

Back inside the house, Dan was pacing his bedroom as silently as he could, so as not to wake 90s Kid. He felt a horrible ball of guilt nestling in the pit of his stomach thanks to his earlier fight with Snob. Why had he been so harsh on a man who was obviously grieving and lashing out to help manage his pain? Because he'd lashed out at 90s Kid, and that could not be tolerated. But hadn't Dan been in a similar position before, lashing out at 90s Kid, at Ted and Boffo, at anyone who tried to help him? And had he been abandoned? No, not even once. 

Dan made up his mind then. He had to apologize to Snob, he had to make things right, so he snuck out of his bedroom and quietly knocked on the guest room door. "Snob? It's Dan. Can we talk? Please?"

The door to the bedroom, which hadn't been fully shut, swung open suddenly, but instead of seeing Snob's scowling face, Dan instead felt one of the cats brush by his ankle on its way downstairs. The guest room was totally empty and Dan's stomach dropped. "Snob? Snob are you here?" After searching the entire top floor, Dan rushed downstairs, looking for Snob in the kitchen, bathroom, even out on the deck, but the man was nowhere to be found.

90s Kid gasped and sat up in bed suddenly, holding his breath and straining his ears to see if he wasn't just hearing things. As soon as he was certain that he heard the sound of Dan's frantic voice calling out for Snob, he stumbled out of bed and raced downstairs in his pajamas, eventually finding Dan running frantically around his living room. He caught the man by the hands and tried his best to hold him still enough to find out what was going on. 

"Dan! Dude, what happened?" 

"Oh, Kid, it's all my fault!" Dan moaned sorrowfully, letting his body crumple against 90s Kid's for a moment. "I was feeling terrible about what happened, and I went to check on him and – he's gone, Kid! Snob is gone! He's not anywhere!" 90s Kid's heart sunk and Dan's breathing began to grow ragged. "Oh God, he was so drunk and depressed when he left and it's freezing out tonight and what if he-" 

"Dan!" 90s Kid pulled the shorter man close and tried to rub his back at a steady pace to calm his breathing, feeling terrified himself but fearing what a panic attack of this magnitude might do to Dan. "Dan, you have to breathe. I know this is serious, but you have to be calm. Remember your heart, dude. We need to think of a plan." 

"We need to go out and find him, Kid!" Dan protested, struggling in 90s Kid's arms to escape. "If something happened to him I'll never forgive myself!"

"We're gonna find him, Dan, I swear we are, so just calm down first." 90s Kid refused to release his hold on Dan and in fact, held him tighter. "We can't help Snob if you're all messed up like this." 

"O-okay, okay, Kid." 90s Kid kept rubbing Dan's back until he started to breathe normally again. 

"That's it, dude," he murmured as he kissed his cheek. "Now stay calm and go get dressed. I'll call Linkara and have him start scanning the area for Snob-dude. We'll totally find him in no time." 

Dan felt proud of 90s Kid and was about to praise his ability to keep a level head during an emergency, when the front door opened and distracted him from responding. 

"Finally, we're here. I don't know how you managed to walk that far in the dark-oh shit, people are awake. I hope that wasn't our fault." 

The mouths of 90s Kid and Dan fell open in unison. 

"Phelous?" 90s Kid asked in disbelief. 

"Hey," Phelous replied with a casual nod. 

"Snob!" Dan rushed over to embrace the shorter man. 

Snob, who was currently dressed in Phelous's jacket and wearing the older man's gloves on his hands, grunted at the sudden impact before he groaned and rolled his eyes. 

"Really? I was only gone for an hour." 

"Oh Snob, I was worried sick," Dan babbled, clinging ever more tightly to the man. "I thought our fight had driven you off into the woods, never to be seen by humanity again." 

"You weren't far off," Phelous joked, before his eyes widened as 90s Kid pulled him into a hug. 

"I can't believe it's really you, dude. I was totally worried that, uh, you know..."

Phelous smiled and patted 90s Kid on the back. "Sorry about that. I know I must have worried a lot of people, so let me start my apologizing with you and Dan." 

"You don't have to apologize to me," Dan said with a smile as he finally released his hold on Snob. "I knew you weren't gone for good."

Phelous's eyes flashed with surpruse, since he hadn't ever taken Dan to be someone who believed in things like that. Perhaps he'd underestimated him.

"Thanks, Dan. Still, I know I made things hard on all three of you this week, so I want to apologize." Phelous surprised Dan by pulling him into a hug as well, squeezing him before he whispered into his ear. "I really appreciate what you and 90s Kid did for Snob. I know he must have been terrified while I was gone. I promise I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you soon." 

Dan shook his head. "That's not necessary. You know I wouldn't have turned him away when he was hurting. I'd do anything for Snob." 

"I know. I'm glad that I can always count on you, Dan."

The two came apart and Snob instantly moved closer Phelous, not wanting to be out of arm's reach for the foreseeable future. 

"You two must be exhausted, so you're very welcome to stay here in our guest room for the night," Dan offered, his smile bright as he wiped away his tears of relief. "We'll look after the cats for you so you can have some time alone together." 

Phelous smiled back. "Thanks Dan-" His voice cut off abruptly when Snob suddenly crumpled in a coughing fit, the shaking returning to his body as he struggled to control himself. "Fuck, I didn't realize it was this bad. Snob nearly froze to death out there and we need to get him warmed up." 

This spurred Dan and 90s Kid into action and they quickly started darting around the house. "I'll get some more blankets and turn up the heat!" Dan announced, flying up the stairs as fast as his legs could carry him. 

"I'll make some hot soup and cocoa to help warm him up!" 90s Kid responded, rushing into the kitchen. 

Phelous decided to busy himself by helping Snob over to the couch and wrapping him in the blanket that had been draped over it.

"Feeling warmer?" Phelous asked. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm feeling a lot better now," Snob said as he laid back against the cushions. "You don't have to worry over me." 

Phelous frowned and pulled one of his gloves from Snob's hand to examine his injuries. "I think I'm going to disagree with you on that one. Hang on, let me get some Band-Aids-" 

Snob curled his bloody fingers around Phelous's wrist and pulled him firmly back down to the couch. "You're not going anywhere," he commanded before another fit of coughing overtook him. 

Phelous patted his back until he calmed down. "You're right, I'll stay. Um, hey, could someone bring me a first aid kit?"

Dan, who had finally arrived with an electric blanket, handed it to Phelous and nodded. "Be right back!" 

It wasn't long before Snob was bundled, bandaged, and being fed soup by his boyfriend. A fact which brought some color back to his frosty cheeks. "I can feed myself," he muttered as Phelous gathered up another spoonful of chicken and noodles. 

"Not with those hands you aren't," Phelous declared. "Now open wide for me." 

"I fucking hate you," Snob hissed before obediently following orders.

From the kitchen, 90s Kid and Dan watched the two happily. "Snob-dude's finally sounding like his old self again," 90s Kid said happily. 

"I know. It does my heart good to see him... to see them together again." Dan nuzzled against 90s Kid as the teen slid his arms around his waist. 

"You always had faith that Phelous would come back. How did you stay so strong all the time, dude?" 

Dan glanced up at 90s Kid. "Because you always came back to me, Kid. If someone like me could be that lucky, then it would be too cruel for someone like Snob to suffer instead." 

90s Kid squeezed Dan tightly, assuring him that he was indeed worthy of everything he had, before the two quietly made their way back upstairs, giving the reunited pair some much needed privacy. 

Phelous watched them leave before turning back to Snob. "Do you want any more soup or cocoa?" 

"All I want to do is go to bed," Snob admitted with a yawn. "I haven't gotten more than a few hours sleep this whole fucking week." 

"Alright." 

Snob let out an undignified noise when Phelous suddenly lifted him into his arms. "I-I can walk, damn it." 

"But you're not going to." Snob wanted to argue, but instead he closed his eyes and breathed in the familiar scent of cologne he hadn't realized he'd missed, and wrapped his arms around Phelous's neck more tightly.

\-----

Dan and 90s Kid knocked eagerly in unison on a door as they waited on a familiar front porch, blowing on their hands to try and keep warm. It had been about a week since Phelous's return. They'd wanted to give Phelous and Snob plenty of time to enjoy each other's company after being reunited, but once Phelous extended an invitation to dinner as a way to thank them for looking after Snob, they jumped to accept it.

It didn't take long for the door to open and for Phelous to usher them inside. He took their coats and gloves and hung them up by the front door. 

"Mmm, it smells delicious in here," Dan remarked with a smile. "I can't wait to see what you've prepared for us." 

"Yeah, I'm totally starved," 90s Kid agreed, before eagerly handing Phelous a package. "Oh, these are for you! Linkara told me to bring you these Ninja Turtle comics. He's super stoked that you're back, Phelous-dude." 

Phelous smiled and took a minute to flip through the issues with interest. "I'll make sure to call and catch up with him soon." 

"Are you guys gonna ignore me all fucking night?" Snob protested from the kitchen before he walked over with the usual scowl on his face. 

"We wouldn't dream of it, Snob! You know you're always the object of interest for me!" Dan exclaimed, hos body surging with joy as he hurried to embrace Snob.

"That's not what I meant-would you get the fuck off me!" Snob was fully back to his old, irritable, grumpy self, but this time he allowed Dan to hug him for a good forty-five seconds before he shoved him away. 

Dan giggled as he bounced off 90s Kid before readjusting his focus to scan over Snob's body. "You certainly look like you've recovered well." 

"Yeah, I'm a fast healer," Snob said as he picked up a pitcher of lemonade with his fully restored fingertips and started to pour. 

"I didn't just mean physically," Dan muttered, softly enough so the other man could hear him. 

The light and fire which had been missing from Snob's eyes had returned in full force, and his spirit, once sluggish and lifeless, seemed more vibrant than ever. Snob even laughed as he handed out drinks to his guests. 

"Well, a non-stop week of sex can really put the glow back into your cheeks." 

90s Kid happened to be drinking as this pronouncment was made and he promptly started choking on his lemonade, requiring Dan to pat his back for a good minute. This only made Snob laugh harder. "Let's not waste any more time talking. I'm just about done with dinner. I hope you two are in the mood for spaghetti and meatballs." 

"S-sounds... awesome," 90s Kid sputtered when he could breathe again. 

"Is there anything we can help with?" Dan wondered. 

"Nope. You're guests, so just sit your asses down until we're ready for you."

Dan helped 90s Kid onto the sofa, occasionally patting his back until his coughing ceased.

"Sorry about that, Kid. You know how, er, candid Snob can be at times," Dan apologized, trying to look sincere as he spoke. It was rather difficult for him to smother a grin, since he always found it unbelievably cute when 90s Kid got flustered. 

"Yeah, I know, I just wasn't expecting it, that's all." 90s Kid replied, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. 

"That's one of the many qualities I love about Snob," Dan admitted with a happy sigh. "He's nothing if not bold about what he likes."

"I hope he isn't that bold when we're eating," 90s Kid muttered.

"Dinner's ready!" Snob called, spurring the two to rise hastily from the couch. "Come and eat before the cats get to it!"

After a fairly calm and very delicious dinner, the four entered the living room to chat and relax. Snob, instead of settling into his favorite chair as expected, choose to sit close to Phelous on the couch instead. Dan couldn't help but eye the available seat hopefully. 

"Fine, Dan, go ahead, but only this once," Snob said with a sigh. 

"I've dreamed of this moment for so long!" 

90s Kid laughed as Dan jumped into the chair in an almost giddy manner before he glanced back to the reunited couple. "So, um, I don't wanna bug you dudes about stuff, but like, how are you?" 

"I told you, I'm fine," Snob replied with a roll of eyes. 

"It's been a little rough, but I expected that," Phelous admitted. 

Snob looked to him sharply. "Are you really going into this?" 

Phelous met his gaze evenly. "Don't you think they deserve the truth?" 

Snob harrumphed and crossed his arms before leaning against Phelous for comfort. "Fine, whatever. Sometimes I wake up panicked that Phel's gone again and it's hard to get back to sleep." 

"He's also very clingy and follows me everywhere. It really reminds me of someone else I know and love..." Phelous said, just as Tiniqua hopped up onto his lap. 

"You better not be comparing me to a damn cat," Snob growled to everyone's amusement. 

"Oh no, you're nothing like these finicky, snooty, independent-when-they-feel-like-it-but-also-highly-needy animals," Phelous snarked. 

90s Kid and Dan braced themselves for the smack a comment such as that was usually rewarded with, but instead Snob grabbed the front of Phelous's shirt and yanked him close for a kiss. "I'll let that go since I'm in a good fucking mood." 

"Has it been hard for you too, Phelous-dude?" 90s Kid wondered. 

"I'm used to the whole dying and resurrection thing, so that isn't a problem. The only part that's hard is watching Snob suffer-" 

"A few nightmares does not mean I'm suffering!" Snob snapped. 

"-and knowing that it was a whole lot worse when I was gone." Phelous looked to the floor with a guilty expression. "You two did so much for us.... so much for Snob when he was in such a fucking awful place. You kept him safe and fed, and gave him and the cats somewhere to sleep... I don't even know how you got him to sleep at all, since I know he can't handle being alone."

"Uh..." 90s Kid and Dan shared a glance, uncertain of how to respond, but Snob didn't give them the chance. 

"When you were gone, Dan let me sleep beside him," he admitted, looking at Dan with an expression neither of the couple had ever seen on his face before. "Dan and 90s Kid were both so fucking generous and let me come between them in a way most people wouldn't. I was a fucking mess and I know I wasn't appreciative of it at the time, but now... now I want you guys to know how much that meant to me."

Dan and 90s Kid looked to each other, stunned, and were unsure of how to respond.

"It was nothing, man." 

"Snob, that's really not necessary-" 

"Yes it fucking is!" Snob snapped, and the two fell silent as the look returned to his face. "I know how much you and 90s Kid care about each other, and I know that's why you were strong enough to let me be in the middle of that. If I hadn't had you both to turn to, I... well, I don't even want to think about that," Snob mumbled, leaning closer to Phelous as he squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. "You guys didn't care that I was being way too fucking needy and you helped me whether I wanted it or not. Even when I was being an ass and went too far... shit, I never meant to lose control like that. I fucking hate how I reacted that night." They opened their mouths to protest once again but Snob silenced them with a wave of his hand. "I said shut up and let me finish!" He took a deep breath and tried to gather enough courage to keep talking. "If you tell anyone else about this, I'll fucking deny it and rip your heads off, but... I'm really, really lucky to have you both as friends. The best ones I think I've ever had."

"Wow," 90s Kid said, his voice much softer than was normal for him. "I've never been somebody's best friend before." He broke out into a grin. "It feels totally rad! You're awesome, Snob-dude! Isn't this cool, Dan... Dan?" 90s Kid hurried to Dan's side when he realized his fiancé was sobbing into his arm. 'What's wrong, Dan? Are you sick? Hurt?" 

"I... I'm so touched!" Dan cried as he wrapped his arms around 90s Kid's waist and squeezed him for dear life. "I never imagined I'd hear... those words... and coming from Snob's mouth... it's too much!" 

To both of their surprise, Snob disentangled himself from Phelous and approached the sobbing 80s-lover with a box of tissues. "Jesus, Dan, I didn't think you'd lose it this bad." 

"S-sorry, Snob," Dan apologized as he grabbed a few sheets and dabbed at his eyes. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable..." Dan trailed off, his breath catching in his throat, when Snob suddenly bent down and embraced him warmly. 

"Seriously, Dan," he murmured into his ear, "thank you for being there. I know I don't show it most of the time, but I really do... like you." 

"Oh..." Dan seemed about ready to melt into a puddle so Snob handed his quivering body over to 90s Kid. 

"Here. You should probably take this before he loses his mind any more than he already has." 

"Thanks." 

"So, do you guys want to watch a movie or anything?" Phelous offered as he reached for the remote. 

"Actually, it's getting late, and Dan and I have plans early tomorrow morning, so we should be getting to bed soon," 90s Kid explained. "Thanks so totally much for having us, though. It was, like, such an awesome night and we should totally do this again some time." 

"I'd be up for that," Phelous agreed as he looked to Snob. "How about you?"

"Ugh, I guess we can do this again someday," Snob said, not sounding anywhere near as grouchy as he looked. "Just make sure you call first and don't, you know, pop in unexpectedly or anything." 

"I will definitely make sure to call you every day and every night, bestie!" Dan cried, having rebounded completely from his moment of intense bliss. He leapt up from Snob's chair and hurried to give him one more bone-crushing hug. 

"Ack! Fuck, Dan! Do not call me that fucking much!" 

"Okay, then I'll be sure to text, email, and Skype with you too! Dolly's taught me all about the modern ways of communicating with the people we love, so I'll be sure to employ them often!" Dan declared. 

"I regret this entire night," Snob groaned, burying his face in his hands. 

"Okay, dudes, later!" 

"Talk to you soon, bestie!" 

Phelous chuckled as the two exited the house and this time Snob did smack him. "Alright, you've had your fun, now get your ass upstairs. I'm fucking exhasuted."

"So, you shared a bed with both of them." 

Snob froze with one foot already on the bottom step. "You know it wasn't like that," he muttered. 

Phelous approached him from behind and wrapped his arms around Snob's waist. "I know. If you were willing to sleep next to Dan, you must have been scared... and I hate that I was the one who made you that way." 

"I just got used to sleeping beside someone," Snob said, though the excuse sounded false even to him. "I wasn't that scared... and even if I was, I'm not anymore, so you don't have to worry."

"If you're not scared, then why won't you won't touch me anymore?"

Snob tensed and closed his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"In bed."

"I sleep with you every night."

"No, you lay beside me every night, curled up in a little ball and moaning my name, but flinching every time I try to reach out to you. Sex has always been the one thing we've had no problems with, or so I thought, but now I don't really know what to think."

Snob's fingers tightened around Phelous's wrists. "Can we please not have this discussion tonight?"

"I wouldn't have brought it up if you hadn't done so first. You lied to Dan and 90s Kid for pretty much no reason."

"I just didn't want them to worry about us," he said, trying not to let his irritation turn to anger.

Phelous held him tighter. "Snob, you're a shitty liar."

"I'm not lying."

"If you're still mad at me because of what happened, I understand, but can you at least admit it?"

"Damn it, I'm not mad!" Snob pried Phelous's hands from his body and turned around to glare at him. 

"Well, coulda fooled me," Phelous said with a roll of his eyes.

"Shut up! I'm not mad, because I'm too busy being terrified!"

"Terrified?" Phelous repeated in confusion. "Of what?"

"Of reaching out to you and realizing your heart isn't beating, ot your skin's grown cold, or you're covered in b-blood..." Snob turned away as his eyes misted over. "You can promise not to leave as much as you want, but there's no way you can prevent every accident in the world. One day you're not going to be paying attention and then... I'll lose you again."

Phelous had never been much of crier, but the tears started to trickle down his cheeks as he listened to Snob's fear. He didn't know if could ever forgive himself for hurting him this much, but he was not going to let the man he loved suffer if he could help it.

"You're right. I can't stop every accident from happening," Phelous said as his arms encircled Snob once again. This time, Snob didn't pull away. "I can't promise that nothing will ever happen to me again. But I'm not going to let the fear of what might happen stop me from moving forward. I'm not going to let what happened in the past keep me from living my life now... a life that I want you to be a part of, Snob. No matter what happens to me, I want you to be there, sharing every part of it. And if I disappear, I will come back to you, even if it means I have to abandon Heaven or break out of the pits of Hell. I won't ever leave you alone again because without you, I would have nothing... I would be nothing... I will never stop fighting for you Snob, I will never stop fighting to be with you, and I need you to do that too. You can't let the past tear you down, Snob... you can't let fear tear us apart. I don't want that. All I want is you, all I've ever wanted is you. Is that... what you want too?"

Snob silently turned around and nuzzled his cheek to Phelous's. "Of course it's what I want. I've wanted you for so long. Even before I was able to tell you, I knew it deep down. That's why losing you rips me to pieces, Phel. I can't handle it... but I know you're right. I can't just go through life being terrified of this happening again and I don't fucking want to. So I'll try... I'm really going to try and be brave now."

Phelous slid his hand into Snob's. "I'll be right here to help you. I'm not going anywhere, Snob." 

"Not even when I take you for granted and treat you like shit?" Phelous's surprise look returned again and Snob continued. "I've been thinking about some of the big moments of our relationship and I'm realizing that I haven't always been the easiest guy to be around. If I hadn't opened my fucking mouth, you never would have been on that roof in the first place."

"Snob, that was an accident."

"I know that, but... even if I don't lose you in an accident, I could still lose you just because I'm me..."

Phelous finally understood the week's worth of hesitation and unprompted kindness on his behalf. He thought Snob was helping him celebrate his life, but he was actually scared of facing another kind of loss. Without warning he picked up Snob and carried him up the stairs and into the bedroom. 

"H-hey, what the hell are you doing?"

"Cinema Snob." Snob fell silent as Phelous stared directly into his eyes. "You've been crude, rude, obnoxious, grumpy, petty, and overall an ass since the day I first met you. I've never been blind to your flaws. I know you keep the films of Ingmar Bergman and Werner Herzog proudly on display in your living room, while you keep sexy nurse porn in a box labeled 'High School Projects' the back of your closet. I know you tell everyone who will listen about your favorite wines or caviar brands, and how you make montly trips to White Castle two towns over while wearing a stupid hat and some sunglasses. I know you put on the most pretentious, snobbish persona you can because you're scared of what people would think if they knew what you really like. I know you act like you hate everyone because you want to reject them before they can reject you. I know that very well, actually. I can remember every time you've tried to push me away because you were terrified of what you were feeling for me. You've been scared for such a long time now..." 

Phelous's voice softened and his eyes grew warm with light. "But I'm not. I'm not scared and I'm not stupid. I know who you are. I know you love me no matter what you say or do to the contrary. You can't lie to me and you can't push me away, Snob. What you can do is get out of your own fucking head, listen to what I'm saying right now, and tell me that you love me as much as I love you."

Snob was stunned for a moment, feeling very bare, as if everything he'd ever tried to hide behind had been stripped away from him. He stared into Phelous's eyes until the vulnerability he'd been blanketed in was replaced by the security that being wrapped in Phelous's arms always brought to him. Then he smirked. 

"Nope. Sorry, can't do it, because I love you more than you love me." 

Phelous let out an amused snort. "Fucking asshole. Ow, stop squirming!"

"Then put me down, genius!" 

Once his feet were back on the floor, Snob quickly shoved Phelous onto the bed and pounced with cat-like agility on top of him. After several minutes of kisses and roaming hands over each other's bodies, Snob pulled back and looked into his boyfriend's eyes, his vulnerable expression returning.

"Say it again, Phel. Please. I'm always so fucking happy when you say it."

Phelous ran a hand through Snob's hair. "I love you, Snob. Ever since that day I asked you for a cameo. Ever since we spent the night together in Nevada. Ever since I first got to witness that beautiful smile you so rarely show light up your face. I know that sounds hard to believe, but honestly it was just that easy for me to fall for you. No matter what we've been through, the fights and the fears and the shitty days and lonely nights, my feelings for you have never changed."

Having heard enough, Snob stopped him from continuing with a desperate kiss that slowly turned into one of passion. As they rolled around together, becoming familiar with each other again on an intimate level, Snob stopped himself from remembering anything about the past. Right now, the only things that mattered were the love he and Phelous felt for each other, and the beautiful future they were sure to share. 

And once they were spent, and drifting off to sleep in each other's arms, Snob clung tightly to the man he loved and whispered, "Phelous?"

"I'm here."

Snob slid a hand across Phelous's chest, resting over his beating heart. "I know."


End file.
